tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80017337563939012032024-03-13T12:31:08.039-04:00Elle & Fireman's Worldelle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.comBlogger133125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-59158430807368596252015-09-23T10:33:00.000-04:002015-09-23T10:33:54.373-04:00Wow! <span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had no idea it has been all summer since I've visited blogger! </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyphenhyphenD8xymKgq_zixPxqpM66gbZK4tFtnEk5b0sKCRjTloHwBEeFPlAlKQH-4sGsppoZqWuv38q7O0fbvFNY5pCHhQDwotgQJ0uMHP40yDR9y6MxibOLGPn3jtoQJeM0Zemkgs_DlPtA5nw/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyphenhyphenD8xymKgq_zixPxqpM66gbZK4tFtnEk5b0sKCRjTloHwBEeFPlAlKQH-4sGsppoZqWuv38q7O0fbvFNY5pCHhQDwotgQJ0uMHP40yDR9y6MxibOLGPn3jtoQJeM0Zemkgs_DlPtA5nw/s200/Unknown.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have popped in a time or two to read, quickly, but I don't think I've commented or anything in quite some time. I thought that I had posted sometime over the summer, but apparently it's been since May! Time really does fly, doesn't it? </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As always, we are busy. All 3 kids are at school for the majority of the week. My little preschooler doesn't go every single day, so we still get to spend some one-on-one time together. It's great. I'm not one of those moms who relishes when school season begins again. I dread it. I dread it with everything in me. It's nice to have a few minutes to myself to watch something *I* want to watch- which almost never happens, lol. But, after a few minutes, that gets boring and it's too quiet here. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Eve</span><span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">n now, all I hear is the clicking of the keys. Booooorrrriiinnnggggggg. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEr5grYbHL5Fkeqnf7x3br5_wI85TfqU0NXbwUS3fk4iJdfB8Ig8jdtzrTbowKkimrWF_6a8GnUI1wHSl6aMSBsfxCv0q45YutpfuROvMbdrmCzAQhlznUY46jnXpAhniGY-mCQv2b8ng/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEr5grYbHL5Fkeqnf7x3br5_wI85TfqU0NXbwUS3fk4iJdfB8Ig8jdtzrTbowKkimrWF_6a8GnUI1wHSl6aMSBsfxCv0q45YutpfuROvMbdrmCzAQhlznUY46jnXpAhniGY-mCQv2b8ng/s200/images.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can't wait for the day when Fireman can make impromptu trips home for lunch. We will be living a little closer to his work, so maybe we can work that out. Nothing like a house to yourselves during the day ;) </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Please, please, please update me about all of you in my comments. I'll try to go back and read some today too, so I can try to catch up, but I'm afraid I will miss something. Please let me know how you've all been doing!! </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To update on Fireman and myself.. we are doing well. Nothing extraordinary.. except some extraordinary sex here and there. I don't know how, but almost every time is better than the time before. I know some of you will know exactly what I mean. -- At least I hope you're all having that mind-blowing kind that we have ;) </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is no ttwd, though. And that kind of sucks. Not kind of. It does suck. We've talked several times since the beginning of the year about bringing it back.... but we are so damn flaky that it never happens. We are working on not being flaky though. We have had a couple volunteer-ish opportunities that have bounced into our lives and <strike>reluctantly</strike> we took them, lol. I think I have more than FM, but he has in at least one account that I can think of at the moment. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have really stepped it up into volunteering at the kids' schools. That includes meeting new people.. which blech, I hate, but I'm doing it anyway. Where did I leave my comfort zone, anyway? </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lately, I've been craving some submissiveness, but we've been so busy, by 10pm, I'm almost completely worthless. We had a dry spell a few weeks ago... that lasted WAY longer than it should've. We did make up for it though with a 3-days-in-a-row thing happening, but that was a few days ago. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't want to ask him to be dominant. I think that kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it? I've written several times about that.. so I don't really need to go into it in depth. I wish he would be though. Maybe I'll subtly initiate a convo about it in the near future. We all know we text better than talking, lol. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">How do you hang on to it? That's the million dollar question. We can grasp it for a little bit.. but then the flakiness comes back. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I hope everyone is great!!!!! And I hope to try to get back here more than twice a year, lol. =) </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">xoxo,</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">elle</span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-81068096219934608512015-05-21T13:07:00.003-04:002015-05-21T13:13:06.433-04:00It's been a really long time.. <span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have no idea what was going on when I posted last. I'm pretty sure I didn't have any idea that it would be this long until I came back. It's weird how things happen like that, isn't it? </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have no idea of what's going on on blogland. Who's 'in' or Who's 'out', lol. I haven't hit any message boards or read much at all. I did see the big 25 anniversary for Blondie! That's fantastic!!!! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBF8awW3ai1OcrSNyogbv4q0esd3zD-CxWkdEBVKkvBXx8o8rw1B8mA67u9E-wA8AouEAuWmat94QtHvdHMhqzqu-TiuQfBopainDTe-CIg2SlZmWepSSy9TbQFMqucXYxbEti4NIv02E/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBF8awW3ai1OcrSNyogbv4q0esd3zD-CxWkdEBVKkvBXx8o8rw1B8mA67u9E-wA8AouEAuWmat94QtHvdHMhqzqu-TiuQfBopainDTe-CIg2SlZmWepSSy9TbQFMqucXYxbEti4NIv02E/s200/images.jpeg" width="200" /></a>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To catch you up to where we are, I can do it in one word: busy. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are so unbelievably busy. Is it with anything of mine? Nope. I do have a workout schedule, but it's hasn't been used in more than 3 weeks. So, so busy. But, we're still making time for each other at the end of the day. I think that's how we are surviving it. Any other time when we've been this crazed, we've been fighting or aggravated with one another. Not this time. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifmdLBISdAMWq6cegO3wZt8-gU8bmT5Iy39rYSx2WGbZUBmQ513DQj2peeDpX5AME9jXbo8E-F3eUyiXPQBsuB_9Lv2cjHxBsF6PiO1tox-53X9kTky_BtY1JDG_fPJZBcuEsX0QUk8FM/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifmdLBISdAMWq6cegO3wZt8-gU8bmT5Iy39rYSx2WGbZUBmQ513DQj2peeDpX5AME9jXbo8E-F3eUyiXPQBsuB_9Lv2cjHxBsF6PiO1tox-53X9kTky_BtY1JDG_fPJZBcuEsX0QUk8FM/s200/images-1.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day. Super true. We use that time from 9pm- to whenever we (or he.. because once we start, I get sucked in and could stay up all night..) decide it's too late and have to stop netflixing Dexter, lol. That's what we are currently obsessed with right now. We did Breaking Bad last summer. We haven't started Orange yet, but intend to at some point. We just started season 5 recently, so no spoilers, lol! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMGDRevCcB4F5oJ5jy4FiFWpStj2Z0hlw3hj-aEz_zztbwl3ZH0GovWIu19XH9GTXS6yiG-NnlVXxe9xAP0f387iBPGUGhLTGSxY7cRU03r0DhUsSvJXPbHi1z5KcyKXtL9ienqui43Fc/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMGDRevCcB4F5oJ5jy4FiFWpStj2Z0hlw3hj-aEz_zztbwl3ZH0GovWIu19XH9GTXS6yiG-NnlVXxe9xAP0f387iBPGUGhLTGSxY7cRU03r0DhUsSvJXPbHi1z5KcyKXtL9ienqui43Fc/s320/Unknown.jpeg" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, there we sit on our couch with our dogs all huddled up near us, usually. Hand in hand as Dexter chops someone else up. Super romantic, right? =P But it works for us. It's time spent together. Sometimes I can't watch, but that's what FM is there for, right? He tells me when it's safe to remove his hand from my eyes. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are in a good place. We weren't a couple weeks ago. I was irrationally mad & I was completely aware that it was irrational. Unlike lots of other times though, I wasn't worried. I knew he wasn't going anywhere. I knew I wasn't going anywhere and that it would blow over eventually. I'm not saying I didn't hold the grudge for longer than I should've or that ttwd went well during that time, but I didn't have the 'one of us is going to bail' mentality that sometimes creeps in. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We aren't in full-blown ttwd, but he did smack my behind- <b>hard</b>- the other day when he came up from looking at the dryer and found somewhere between a couple and a million dryer sheets not in the garbage can. LOL. It's his biggest pet peeve and I didn't even realize I was doing it.... <i>again</i>. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I said: <i>owww, that was hard</i>.</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FM: <b><i><u>It was supposed to be</u></i></b>. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ah, point taken. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We just celebrated an anniversary also, 9 years. Crazy that more than a third of my life has been spent with this man. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hope you've all been doing well. Please feel free to catch me up!!!! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-39071727715971245192014-10-29T14:36:00.004-04:002014-10-29T14:38:58.606-04:00I don't like asking for it.... <span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Whatever you want to call it, role-affirmation, maintenance, an attitude adjustment or just keeping the spankee in line, not a punishment spanking.... Maybe it's that explicit spanking that leads to some super hot sex afterward or maybe it's just that 'I'm in charge and you need to remember it' spanking. Whatever you want to call it, I don't like asking for it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhApSB-5GFdCjsnAAM2UCyh73Nldqr2JruS4JVOWgZ2b5SM5TctX9h8Su82OuoAALVpkt-ejpyEwg-lvsllTr-NTx7rn7vqr9OqveZXRPgefGUq3Rhw1TmYKyuZI6GdKn_lFHi99WGWiUg/s1600/Unknown.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhApSB-5GFdCjsnAAM2UCyh73Nldqr2JruS4JVOWgZ2b5SM5TctX9h8Su82OuoAALVpkt-ejpyEwg-lvsllTr-NTx7rn7vqr9OqveZXRPgefGUq3Rhw1TmYKyuZI6GdKn_lFHi99WGWiUg/s1600/Unknown.png" height="200" width="146" /></a><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Requesting might be the more appropriate term. Asking for it seems like a phrase for bratting to get some attention. So, I don't like requesting it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We have had agreements in our past editions of ttwd that I will ask for it when I need or want it, then he would take care of it. He can't read my mind, he wants to know when I feel that way. It's important that I communicate my needs/wants just as it is important for him to communicate that as well. We're not great at the communication. As you may remember from earlier blog posts, we text great. We can talk all day via text. We chat about everything, about nothing, important to unimportant. But face to face, we're not so great at. </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Here's the thing though... it usually doesn't happen when I make the request. That's not really a great feeling to have, to have opened up about it and then not having it. It's hard to muster up the courage to send the text about it, then awaiting the response. Sometimes it's yes okay.. or sometimes it's maybe we'll see.. or sometimes it's I don't know. </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">In his defense, it is always open for discussion and he does still say he wants to know. But I have since refused to ask, after it once again not happening. It seems that I need that connected feeling more often than he does and it seems to fade a little more quickly for me than it does for him. I crave that feeling often. </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwMVAOlXFxOs9hCGvH4Zc6ObutQNmM-IZWT15ddXxdvRv_995tOfEl9qP2uBO77bhgNU9D7G5jShIRqxgNoXXWD2YcwVDhwXCrH04Y2EqUq5is6UnSgB9B1CYEFYEYzoM98unBVcqfxcA/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwMVAOlXFxOs9hCGvH4Zc6ObutQNmM-IZWT15ddXxdvRv_995tOfEl9qP2uBO77bhgNU9D7G5jShIRqxgNoXXWD2YcwVDhwXCrH04Y2EqUq5is6UnSgB9B1CYEFYEYzoM98unBVcqfxcA/s1600/images-1.jpeg" height="200" width="133" /></a><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I crave the dominant side of him so often. He has a look that he gets when he's in that mode and it makes him even hotter than he already is. His tone of voice and mannerisms change a little. It all adds up to a very excited Elle. =) </span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAHhuNh08pDNR3KM1iYtWSfFVWL9TpPd-DXdVIEsoYTiMw8q0_cBhFhhPB78AWrXTKgDJuozQoZmEm9D1BSrlfS0fSLq-V1IEmNj2vU0DZo5y2XpokVHAS8lAQ08Weoeykk8ddGkaJrvM/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAHhuNh08pDNR3KM1iYtWSfFVWL9TpPd-DXdVIEsoYTiMw8q0_cBhFhhPB78AWrXTKgDJuozQoZmEm9D1BSrlfS0fSLq-V1IEmNj2vU0DZo5y2XpokVHAS8lAQ08Weoeykk8ddGkaJrvM/s1600/images-2.jpeg" height="152" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">More than anything though, I just want to be in our little bubble. I want to know that we are good. That he is handling everything and that I'm doing what I need to do. And of course, that I'm his and that's who I belong to. </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirWVXm04kDeyF4ZA0Em2nzPRDA2hZaUi7HTZA_BnqGBmBrezK22DeqPpFiwzOJK8SoFpb9AnyeR2D8SSA4Y515fRny92SHMKt3MeWod_Ai4nBh2IeHH7AIANNmYOcq73sxCU62_agLQWg/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirWVXm04kDeyF4ZA0Em2nzPRDA2hZaUi7HTZA_BnqGBmBrezK22DeqPpFiwzOJK8SoFpb9AnyeR2D8SSA4Y515fRny92SHMKt3MeWod_Ai4nBh2IeHH7AIANNmYOcq73sxCU62_agLQWg/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" height="200" width="134" /></a><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wish we could stay in our bubble full time! </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I might just need to realize it's at his discretion whether it happens or not. Maybe that needs to be part of it. That might be a hard little pill to swallow though, but maybe that's part of the reason why this went wrong in the times before. I don't know that I can continue to relay that I want a session and it not be taken for exactly what I'm asking for. </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7TFKAglN1CpHSN3mQ32x-UXTw8fRV7Poe3_J4KfTA4VOEfWiLZItFcOPEtO6OzcxUf_SMnAJAEtI7E26NMNY6fFfLoj4ihvYoattmhtC-RhsuO9p3p4h3NBhgo5Y0qHnRPfLykb7-Nt8/s1600/5a1ad31c4d7b6f3c2919cb64c002f184.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7TFKAglN1CpHSN3mQ32x-UXTw8fRV7Poe3_J4KfTA4VOEfWiLZItFcOPEtO6OzcxUf_SMnAJAEtI7E26NMNY6fFfLoj4ihvYoattmhtC-RhsuO9p3p4h3NBhgo5Y0qHnRPfLykb7-Nt8/s1600/5a1ad31c4d7b6f3c2919cb64c002f184.jpg" height="200" width="110" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not us, lol</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Anyone have thoughts or insight? You know I always welcome all comments! :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hope you all have a great Halloween!!!! </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elle</span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-56640388211180836492014-10-27T15:26:00.000-04:002014-10-27T15:26:10.204-04:00Ladies & gentlemen... He is back :) <span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We had a jam-packed, slammed busy weekend. Well, Friday and Saturday at least. Sunday was fantastic. We attended church, a yummy breakfast, then sat on our couch and watched our football team WIN! LOL, we watched a really good movie and ended our Sunday like we usually do.... Walking Dead. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTUjTIoTlyw-HlR-KeL5U1Qixm8yXNgAzaz2nW0lM1s-zIlQxG8kgWoKaJvvW2McxyJqvYoyt-q24qFZVZ9P7WLF8l4_nQOjwvJIFCiktpdlllWn-ZAZJc96FT_qE0ciJiYf2ABmeq7tg/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTUjTIoTlyw-HlR-KeL5U1Qixm8yXNgAzaz2nW0lM1s-zIlQxG8kgWoKaJvvW2McxyJqvYoyt-q24qFZVZ9P7WLF8l4_nQOjwvJIFCiktpdlllWn-ZAZJc96FT_qE0ciJiYf2ABmeq7tg/s1600/Unknown-1.jpeg" height="129" width="200" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-p_cmHI-HMXJtTQuHra3IMcdKnSO7p8IDPvMoSj2HebDvBkxLChcgYf-7apfnXVc52VN_FD2eus-5666xn587TSPi8xO7t85EDHTOSgewF0pjXF4cWJnPKRoixvc1aCcuxJHWgeNLMvs/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-p_cmHI-HMXJtTQuHra3IMcdKnSO7p8IDPvMoSj2HebDvBkxLChcgYf-7apfnXVc52VN_FD2eus-5666xn587TSPi8xO7t85EDHTOSgewF0pjXF4cWJnPKRoixvc1aCcuxJHWgeNLMvs/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" height="200" width="146" /></a><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wasn't that impressed with last night's episode, but I'm a Daryl fan. So when Daryl is absent from the episode, it's not as good for me, lol. I did like that some of the events that occurred (no spoilers for any of you who haven't seen it yet!), but I want to know what happens next. I'm so impatient! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just to be fair, I am a fan of Lauren Cohan too, lol. FM & I agree this picture is hottt. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last week was a game-changer for us. My post made me realize just how much I missed ttwd. I texted FM. We talked.. and talked. We talked about the bad habit of his and how I want him to stop. He is working on it, but it's not gone as I wish it was. He says I don't understand addiction. I guess I don't. My feeling is just stop. Sure it will suck, but not forever and you'll be rid of the habit. We agree to disagree and I let it go. I really did. He doesn't do it around me and I really am trusting that he truly is trying to quit. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked him at what extent he wants ttwd back. All of it, but he realizes that's not what I want. Wrong, that is what I want, it's just the bad habit. He says he will take whatever he can get. Halfway, all of it, anything. He just wants it back. I compromise or give in.. or both. We can do whatever you want, with the promise that you really will continue to work on quitting. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So ttwd is back... or we will see. We are trying it out, no major rules no giant leap in. We are just going with it. I think we aren't stressing out about it or trying to make it something it's not. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhruhJOMPFlgtckfmh7H2q9kwx_n_OQAXZEduogqHYXt9213zJLSttvFYjBfU5Jfychrb6j4Zsel1PZmlm_g3UoIxMCDJ6foiz_LrYzGf939SUJYAkwRXvPr76Ub1ckuQqiaK2hSDoD55c/s1600/Unknown-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhruhJOMPFlgtckfmh7H2q9kwx_n_OQAXZEduogqHYXt9213zJLSttvFYjBfU5Jfychrb6j4Zsel1PZmlm_g3UoIxMCDJ6foiz_LrYzGf939SUJYAkwRXvPr76Ub1ckuQqiaK2hSDoD55c/s1600/Unknown-2.jpeg" height="133" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Monday night we had a really good session. The following morning I asked him for feedback, something I always did when we were ttwd'ing before. <b><i><u>It was exactly what I needed.</u></i></b> Me too FM, me too. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So the rest of the week goes along smoothly, no problems. No sessions, even though I would've loved one (or 6, lol) more in there. We are already noticeably closer. It's that gravitational pull. It's back. Fireworks. Only you guys know that feeling. You can't explain it to anyone else, not that I would ever try. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The week kind of flew by. We had so much going on and Halloween activities this weekend. Saturday was nothing but me in the car. A little bit of spending time with the kids mixed in, but not much. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYfgZTmDBLYRfMuBELdMszLwpVWbHu6M4PxT-8j8K7TimyLP9y_Tiuk6zu9NG4pKsgIxuK1i7fswTezfiu2upfKcS8ObAfPg1oZ3tTqZeutK8enDZVVG_QghviPpxPWxA-ptPE-tc4MDg/s1600/Unknown-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYfgZTmDBLYRfMuBELdMszLwpVWbHu6M4PxT-8j8K7TimyLP9y_Tiuk6zu9NG4pKsgIxuK1i7fswTezfiu2upfKcS8ObAfPg1oZ3tTqZeutK8enDZVVG_QghviPpxPWxA-ptPE-tc4MDg/s1600/Unknown-3.jpeg" height="140" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cue the blue flashing lights behind me while I was driving at one point. While I'm on the phone with FM. Expletive. Seriously, expletive lol. That's not what I got pulled over for though, that's not illegal in the state I was in. At least not yet. Speeding. Something FM is always telling me to be cautious of. Can't help it! I have places to go and people to see! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Luckily, I am an excellent driver :insert me with a sweet smile: and I have no tickets, no anything on my record. The police officer lets me go with just a warning, PtL! I do not have time for a ticket, nor any extra money I want to put toward paying a ticket with the holidays coming up! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I call FM back to let him know what happened. <b><i><u>That's fantastic that they didn't give you a ticket, love. You're still in trouble.</u></i></b> </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All-caps expletive. Oh, that's right. We are back with ttwd in full-force. I begin to explain my case. Yeah, I don't really want to hear it. It's a nice try. You're still in trouble. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At this point, I'm just glad I made it through that day. So many stressful things leading up to the events that were taking place that day and I really did manage through them effortlessly. Except the damn cop that happened to pass me while I was coming-down-a-hill-while-driving-slightly-faster-than-I-should've-been <-- that's for FM, lol. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honestly, at this point I'm wondering if he'll actually hold up his end. His track record is not the best with consistency and punishment. Especially with punishment. I didn't say much about it after I got home and we all had dinner. I think we may have watched some tv together with the kids before they ended up falling asleep watching a rented movie. I got a shower and he sent me to our room. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbaz6sEaJu3E3GhWENSO-pro2bC4kqdFDHj2Mr1QfoS7_070NV2xbUy-tpg5ZyJ7qvAJBvmE_JoN5H4Glr_Vl8uNBWdcDQFrU36M4-JL2DWRgAjQav4AuzPEgY-R9045iY5ntx5EL5ATQ/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbaz6sEaJu3E3GhWENSO-pro2bC4kqdFDHj2Mr1QfoS7_070NV2xbUy-tpg5ZyJ7qvAJBvmE_JoN5H4Glr_Vl8uNBWdcDQFrU36M4-JL2DWRgAjQav4AuzPEgY-R9045iY5ntx5EL5ATQ/s1600/images.jpeg" height="74" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was pleasantly surprised with how he handled it. He started out with no warm-up.. ouch, but I did understand. I protested about it, but he quickly reminded me that I was in trouble. He lectured a little (which is more than he would've done in the past!!) and place his hand a little more forceful than he would've in the past too. (A little? A lot. but it was kind of hot along with getting his point across.) He did take it easy and ended a lot sooner than I had anticipated, but I think he's still figuring things out for himself too. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I do always try to be honest and give him any feedback he wants. I think we have this under our belts and we know how we messed up in the past. I really do think he's trying this time and not just doing it for me or because he thinks I want to. Not that I really think that's what was happening before, but I was afraid that's how it was. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, we will see how this goes. I'm not stressing out about it like I have in the past. I'm not asking for a specific list of rules, I think obviously I know the difference between right and wrong and I know mostly what he likes and doesn't. I think that will make a big difference too. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hope you all had a great weekend! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-19178705058132137172014-10-20T11:11:00.002-04:002014-10-20T11:11:29.691-04:00Trust & Two years ago :) <span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's been so long since I checked blogger and caught up with everyone's posts. It's been so hard to carve out time to find to just read and catch up. I have missed everyone and I know I've missed a lot of posts. I hope you all are doing well. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday I checked my little TimeHop app- which by the way I love. I wish I would've downloaded it sooner than I did. I didn't realize how neat it was too see what you posted on Facebook years ago. I haven't been on instagram long, but that's fun to see too. Anyway, I saw a post that reminded me of what we had done two years ago.. when I found the courage to bring up ttwd and probably saving our marriage forever. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We've had bumps with it. We're not even practicing right now.. I do wish we were, but he knows the terms. It's just up to him to fix himself so that we can move on. I can't do a ttwd lifestyle when he's still doing the one thing that I cannot handle. How would that ever work? But.. this post isn't about that. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just can't believe it was two years ago. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So much has changed since then, so much has been fixed, so much of the way I used to react and things I'd say. I don't always still act like we are in a ttwd relationship, since we aren't, but I still see his looks. He may not mean to give them, but he does, lol. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even yesterday at breakfast.. I can't remember what I said, but he had a little threatening comment. I politely reminded him that he couldn't do anything about it.. and he reminded me that the leather around his waist said he would, lol. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did try to initiate a conversation about when we are going to start it up again, but no dice. He just isn't really into talking about it and the bustle of breakfast didn't really allow for a convo about it. We had family stuff to do yesterday, then we came home to watch football and I fell asleep on him. What can I say? He is a comfy place for me to fall asleep. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I texted him a bit ago to let him know I did want to talk about it. He said okay and he'd let me know when he had a few minutes. I hate Mondays. It's still our busiest day of the week and he's not home until late. Coming off of Sunday when I usually get to spend all day when him, Monday is hard. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recently though, I realized that I really do trust this man with everything. Every thing I have, am, will be. I trust him. I think that at the beginning of ttwd, I didn't. I know that I didn't at the beginning of our marriage either. I just didn't get it. Maybe I was too young to realize or maybe it just takes time, I don't know. Or maybe ttwd helped with that. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All I know is, I'm mad at him one minute.. and what would have drawn out into a three day argument before only lasts about 5 minutes now. I am more patient and more thoughtful about things. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want ttwd back, for the dynamic, for the feeling you get, for the hot sex, lol. I want it backkkkk. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Other than that, things are fantastic around here. Just busy, like usual. We've added in a few more activities for the kids, so even busier than usual, but I wouldn't change it. I love this time of year, I love the cool weather and the leaves. I love Halloween and all of the fun decorations. I'm even one of those weird people that love the snow. I love all of it. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Can't wait to catch up with everyone to see how it's going with everyone else. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle</span><br />
elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-18101691077599491332014-08-19T09:37:00.001-04:002014-08-19T09:37:28.964-04:0060q :) <span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">We all know I'm addicted to quizzes and memes :) Saw this one on <a href="http://ontheddpath.blogspot.com/2014/08/60-questions.html">Dana's</a>, had to borrow it :) </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">Yep :) </span><br style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">2. Opinions on sex before marriage? </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">I don't think it's realistic to wait. </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">3. Is trust a big issue for you?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think maybe. I try not to think that everyone has a hidden agenda, but unfortunately sometimes they do :( </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lol, I have. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">6. What happened last night? </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">went to the gym :) </span><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">7. Ever have plastic surgery? </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">I haven't. I don't know if I'd want to go under the knife voluntarily or not.. </span><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">8. Which are better - black or green olives? </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">Ew. Neither! </span><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">9. What is the last beverage you had? </span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: magenta;">Iced Coffee :) It's sitting right beside me right now. </span><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">10. Ever won a contest?</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"> </span></span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes :) A few. </span><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">11. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I do! I wouldn't have been very comfortable in them last year at this time, but they work now :) </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">12. What are you gonna do Saturday night? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta;"></span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">Haven't planned it yet. I like to go out, but I love staying in too.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">13. What are you going to spend money on next? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"></span><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have to go to the store :( Yuck! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">14. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope so. I have big goals :) </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">15. Can you swim well? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not like an olympian, but I won't drown, lol</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">16. Have you had sex today? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not yet.. If I wouldn't have slept through my alarms though, I might have tried :) </span><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">17. Regularly burn incense? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Never have..</span><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">18. Are you in a good mood? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not particularly, but I am having some very rare alone time :) </span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">19. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to say yes, but when it comes down to it, I don't think I could scuba dive!! I have claustrophobic issues, lol. </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">20. What do you want right this second? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">World peace. For real. I know that's the beauty queen answer (which goes back to the contest thing, lol!) but everything in the news is so disturbing. </span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">21. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've been this color for so long I don't know what my actual color is, hahaha :) </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">22. Hot tea or cold tea? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I drink tea almost everyday, but I love hot tea in the winter! :)</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">23. Tea or coffee?</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">both! </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">24. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes. I actually miss my hubby. Mondays are hard, we barely see each other and I was already mostly asleep when he got home last night. Hopefully we get some time together tonight. :)</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">25. Does everyone deserve a second chance? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No. Some things are unforgivable. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">26. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I should hope so. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">27. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes. I very rarely drink it. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">28. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I kissed the girls goodbye before school. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">29. Who did you last call? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I actually had to look.. it's my grandmother :) I called her yesterday morning. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">30. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To tell them goodbye.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">31. Who would you like to see in concert? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's a good question! I've been to lots of concerts, we love music. Someone I haven't seen..... Justin Timberlake. Haven't seen him. (That took a lot of thinking!)</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">32. What was the last concert you saw? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I can't put the actual last one I saw for fear of exposure, lol, but the one before that.... oh, I can't write that one either. Let's just say an alternative band :) </span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">33. Do you tan in the nude? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No.. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">34. Are you patient? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes. Depends on the situation. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">35. Who was the last person to call you? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My daughter's old school. </span><div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">36. Do you sing in the shower? </span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Only if there is music playing. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">37. Ever used a bow and arrow? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">38. Do you think musicals are cheesy? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They can be. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">39. Is Christmas stressful? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not at all. I love every bit of it. I love the shopping, I love the gifts, the parties, the celebration. I love teaching my kids what it's really about. I love Christmas! </span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">40. Ever eat a pierogi? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't think so... </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta;"><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">41. Favorite type of fruit pie? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Apple </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">42. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Veterinarian, teacher, model, superstar, lol :) </span></span><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">43. Do you believe in ghosts? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">44. Ever been in love? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yep </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">45. Take a vitamin daily? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm supposed to.. but I am not good at taking pills everyday! </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">46. Wear slippers? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not usually. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">47. Wear a bath robe? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes when I'm getting ready. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">48. What do you wear to bed? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">D</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes nothing, sometimes a tank and panties, sometimes FM's t-shirt.. just depends. </span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">49. First concert? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A country guy with a mullet, lol. Or technically sesame street. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">50. Walmart, Target or Kmart? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love Target, even though I generally spend too much. Walmart is closer, but I prefer a local supermarket. </span><br style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">51. Nike or Adidas? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nike</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">52. Cheetos or Fritos? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Neither. I hate cheetos and I'm not really a frito person either... </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">53. Peanuts or sunflower seeds?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I like both :)</span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">54. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">55. What is your favorite book? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Probably anything by Nicholas Sparks. Or Heaven is For Real- it's very powerful :) </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">56. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fireman, or my best friend. I could probably even tell her about ttwd, but I don't want to get into it. lol. </span></span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">57. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? </span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Probably last Christmas for a party photo. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">58. Ever have a deja-vu feeling?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, actually just last weekend. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">59. Listening to? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Myself type.. the dvd just finished a show, so it paused itself. </span><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">60. Favorite cookie? </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: magenta; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I love all cookies.. </span></div>
elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-69398168305568523342014-08-14T14:46:00.000-04:002014-08-14T14:46:06.477-04:00An agreement :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuJt5ZkJXG1W2OpZppvnFkejRM0wTLjZES-us2CpVj9pUplPYhU-sidR5rwwzyrW0TIKILIl7BgLBA8hdt_lSK4HyZKX6FhFzR9teGk1aIisK5KiWpsCDRZ00Xx2uidN4CwiTpGpmrMf4/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuJt5ZkJXG1W2OpZppvnFkejRM0wTLjZES-us2CpVj9pUplPYhU-sidR5rwwzyrW0TIKILIl7BgLBA8hdt_lSK4HyZKX6FhFzR9teGk1aIisK5KiWpsCDRZ00Xx2uidN4CwiTpGpmrMf4/s1600/Unknown.jpeg" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, thank you all for your kind words and advice. I really appreciated it.. most of it, lol :) No, just kidding. I really did appreciate all of it. Even the one that I didn't appreciate got some dialogue rolling between FM and I.. and even though it wasn't accurate, I did appreciate it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are on the way up. We talked. I think it took at least a week. We tried getting back to normal after the initial talk we had. But it was the usual us. Nothing resolved, nothing really hashed out. Just hurt feelings and some conversation that touched the surface of things that had been going on. It was classic us. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Until the following Monday. I was stressed and anxious with him being away from me. Mondays are always hard for us because we've had the weekend together, then we are apart for the entire day. From morning shower to bedtime, apart. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't really ask him to quit the habit in our earlier conversations. So when Monday rolled around and I knew what he was doing at work, it just brought everything back to the surface for me, along with everything that had been said. It was just too much and another very large fight erupted. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wanted to text him. I wanted to just have the old FM back, but we couldn't go back. There was no back because what I'd thought was clouded now, you know? It was a mess. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then somehow we started discussing things. Everything. Things from the beginning, things from the middle, things from the present. We talked A LOT. Mostly over text, but it just kept going. We text-talk well, lol. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then we got a date night last weekend and got reconnected. We made a few deals and it wasn't my plan to get the discussion of bringing ttwd back, but it happened. I texted without really thinking that I wished we could bring ttwd back in our lives. He replied he was already there. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, I said there was no way I could do it with him still doing the thing I had a huge problem with, that he had been hiding from me for so long. It would never work. He just replied that he understood. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then on our date, actually I think it was before, we came to an agreement. We had a fun spanking session before we left.. it was a deal we had made lol. During the day he commented about something, but when I wanted a more in-depth description, he didn't really want to talk about it. So I said I'd be up for a session before we went to dinner if he told me. It worked ;) And it was really hot to have it before we left. It got the date started off the best way possible. I missed that connection so much that I made him another deal. We will get back to ttwd if he quits. Really quits for good. <b><i><u>Deal</u></i></b>, he said. Hopefully that's incentive enough for him to kick the habit. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are doing well now, really well. It's a little touchy from time to time, just because wounds are still a little fresh, but we are okay. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">XO, </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-48386914400857485492014-07-30T15:23:00.001-04:002014-07-30T15:23:12.260-04:00Just when I think we're good.. <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First of all, I apologize in advance at this post. I wish I had better news to report, but I don't. We really suck at ttwd, really, and it's even worse than I thought. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We were just talking about really getting it started again. That's what I wanted. I wanted it back 100% and I was getting the feeling that maybe he did too. We talked about it for a while, chatted a little back and forth via text while he was at work. Texting has always been our best form of communication. Our evenings are so busy and even though he's really busy at work, he can usually send me a text back and forth throughout the day and we can't lose track of what we're talking about when it's on the screen. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other night we actually had a nice session, too. I could've .. or maybe should've told him to go a little more. I was actually craving his hand, but he just used the hairbrush. It was really, really good for both of us. While he still didn't say much, it felt good to be in that position again. *really good*</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then comes yesterday. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And my whole world is completely fucked upside down. I've seen your posts on 'what do you do when he messes up' and the like, but I honestly never read them. I'm always quite limited on time when I get on blogger, especially with the last few months, and I have no advice on that situation, so I didn't read them. Stupid me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course our relationship isn't perfect. But we were to such a good place. We've barely bickered over the past few months. We've done extremely well overall since we began ttwd. I know I've mentioned we were on the verge of divorce in the past. It was probably more than just on the verge. Short of seeing a lawyer, it was over. It was not good, it was worse than bad. I've always equated ttwd to saving us. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It took a lot, as I think it does for most women who choose to live this lifestyle. You give up a lot. I was probably not as good as it as I wanted to be, but that's neither here nor there. I brought it to the table. I wanted to save us. I did the love dare. All of it. I all but begged him to renew vows with me, but he didn't get it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have one very large regret. It happened about 4 years ago. Most people always say they have no regrets because they wouldn't be where they are today without it. That's probably true for us too and I wouldn't change what we have at all, but this regret is just so major it's even hard to type right now. I hate that I had it happen. I will slip to an panic attack quite easily over it and that's not something I've told anyone. Not even FM, I just try to get through it, push it down, and move on. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FM has proceeded with forgiveness, which I will admit I'm not even sure I could've done if the situation would have been in reverse. Nothing anyone can say can make me feel worse about what happened. Nothing. I have the deepest level of pain and regret, it's a torment I would never wish on anyone. But I go on. I focus on us and where we are now.. or where we were to get past it. I remember that he loves me, that he forgives me, and that I am fine. I repeat it to myself when the panic comes. It's ... Anyway. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday. He has an item that he loves, of course fire related, and he's been using it since he got it. Loves it. Unfortunately it was ruined yesterday and they're not easily found in our area. I immediately got on my phone and found it on amazon and another fire site. I figured out which shipping was cheaper and went to pay for it. I needed his card out of his wallet, mine isn't working for shipping things for some reason, I tried to be secretive and just pay for it. Couldn't find his wallet.. went to his car, looked in his bag, and found chewing tobacco. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe it's not that big of a deal and maybe some of your husbands do it. I can't stand it. It makes me so disgusted and we had an argument about it before. Unfortunately it was during the bad point in our relationship. However, he promised to not do that anymore. When we met, he was a smoker. I thought that I had asked him to quit as a wedding present to me, but he says it was before #1 was born. Either way, it's been 8 years or 9 years ago, but he did quit. He just smokes occasionally, which is really fine with me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have issues when people are addicted to things. I just can't make my brain understand it. I'm sure he probably is addicted, but that just makes it worse. I can't understand why you would ever start using chewing tobacco and the spitting and carrying a cup around, ew. I can't think of many things that are more disgusting than that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know it sounds stupid. I realize it will probably seem like a non-issue. But he promised. I confront him about it and my hands are shaking I'm so upset about it. Then I realize, what if he's been doing it since he promised me he wouldn't? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He has. For almost 4 years. FOUR YEARS he's been hiding this from me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We never really kiss. When we were dating, that's all we'd do. Then it stopped. We never make out, we rarely kiss. I mean we can go weeks. We will have sex with no kissing. Happens all the time. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now I wonder if it's because he was using that disgusting stuff. He says I made no effort to kiss him, but I don't think that's true. I feel like he has chosen that over me. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So i'm already distraught over this. I'm disgusted from him even doing, hurt that it's been going on for as long as it has. I told him I'm not okay with it, if he gets sick from it I'm leaving. That's something you bring on yourself. We argue a little.... and he throws the grenade. At least I'm not hiding things like you were.. and says a few other things referring to the regret I have. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It felt like an arrow shot straight through me. I was paralyzed and panic set it. I can't even explain. I just stood there. Feel better? I asked... he didn't respond. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We didn't speak the rest of the evening.. until I brought him pillows to sleep on the couch. I couldn't sleep in the bed with him. He called me a name as I shut the door. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I opened it back and we argued more. He said more mean things about what happened a long time ago and I was stunned. He even said things that I've never said happened. I started to respond and he walked out of the room. That hurt even more. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wanted to tell him there's no way possible to make me feel worse than I do, but I couldn't. I told him to go to the bed. I couldn't sleep anyway, but he refused. He laid on the couch and I walked to the bedroom with tears just streaming and he said nothing. I shut the door and couldn't breathe. I don't even know how loud I was trying to get air in my lungs, I kept thinking he might come, but deep down I knew he wouldn't. He never does. He never chases, never comes after me when we have a big argument. It's been a very long time, but he never has in all of our years. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I finally got into our bed and I don't know if I passed out or fell asleep, but I woke up around 3 and fell back asleep. I slept through my gym alarm and woke up around 8:30. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I texted him everything I'd wanted to say. I told him I didn't want to start a conversation, but I just had some things I wanted to say. He did respond and apologized, but said that he thought I was blowing things out of proportion. A while later I explained, but he just said he was busy and hasn't been able to respond yet. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't know what time he will be home. I don't know how this evening will go. I just know that a lot of issues have been brought to the surface and won't easily be forgotten. I know I have a lot of issues with the beginning of our marriage, then the regrets, and now this. He has issues, obviously, but I don't know. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't know how to end this either.. If you've stuck with it, thanks. Feel free to comment anything. Even if you think it's all stupid, lol, I'm fine with it. I know it sounds stupid, but it's just not to me. =/ </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-31069081714923329792014-06-06T11:38:00.004-04:002014-06-06T11:49:59.146-04:00Better late than never... Liebster Award :) <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYDnHB2mxf0tXP9JyvKsRbtah0pPy_4PxNU4z57BhI67wfN2LJbbEa0RwVkczQsTqjoToRYbWldArMBXp6ON2Hn3U3dStD22ae5jYe7zDvxA8_ppKfNNPy2HQIbCyLtdZ-cWNxCwlmAPM/s1600/liebster-award.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYDnHB2mxf0tXP9JyvKsRbtah0pPy_4PxNU4z57BhI67wfN2LJbbEa0RwVkczQsTqjoToRYbWldArMBXp6ON2Hn3U3dStD22ae5jYe7zDvxA8_ppKfNNPy2HQIbCyLtdZ-cWNxCwlmAPM/s1600/liebster-award.png" /></a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: xx-small;"></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">A big thanks to <a href="http://ttwdblondiesblog.blogspot.com/">Blondie at Blondie's Blog</a> for the nomination!! It was more than a month ago that she nominated me, but we had a lot going on and I couldn't get it done. We finally got a new computer, so now I'm able to access blogger so much easier. The iPad and blogger, as many of you know, aren't a good match, lol.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u>The rules</u></b>(in case you haven't already seen them)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Display the award on your blog, include it in your post and you make it a gadget if you wish :)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Answer 11 questions about yourself which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Nominate 5-11 blogs you feel deserve this award who have less than 1,000 followers. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. List these rules on your post. Once you have written it, publish!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. Inform the blogs you nominated about their nomination for the Liebster Award from you and provide a link to your post so they can learn about it. (They may not have heard about it yet!!). </span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><u><span style="font-size: large;">Here are Blondie's questions for me to answer :) </span></u></b></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Rock Salt'; font-weight: bold; line-height: 33px;">1. Are you generally a happy person?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47;"><i>Yes. I try to look at the bright side of everything and stay positive. It's too easy to drag yourself down otherwise!! </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Rock Salt'; font-weight: bold; line-height: 33px;">2. Do you look like your mother?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i style="color: #741b47;">Yes, I do. We don't have the same body shape, but I look more like her and her side of the family than I do my father's. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Rock Salt'; font-weight: bold; line-height: 33px;">3. Favorite sex position?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i style="color: #741b47;">Depends on the mood! </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Rock Salt'; font-weight: bold; line-height: 33px;">4. Will you or have you told your children about your spanking lifestyle?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i style="color: #741b47;">No and no!!!! I can't imagine ever having any kind of conversation like that :) I think we'll keep it between us forever. </i><br />
<i style="color: #741b47;"><br /></i>
<b>5. Do you own any sex toys and if so how many and which is your favorite? </b><br />
<i style="color: #741b47;">No, none. We really need to invest in some though.... </i><br />
<i style="color: #741b47;"><br /></i>
<b>6. Have you ever had a picture taken of your red bottom after a spanking? </b><br />
<i style="color: #741b47;">Yes. I think it was one of the first time. I don't know if we saved it or if it's gone forever, lol.</i><br />
<i style="color: #741b47;"><br /></i>
<b>7. What decade did you attend high school? </b><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">I graduated in the early 2000s. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></i>
<b>8. What song do you tend to sing in the shower? </b><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">Usually whatever is playing on Pandora on my iPhone if I'm listening. Otherwise I think I'm silent..</span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">Unless I'm talking to FM since we usually shower together. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></i>
<b>9. Have you ever thought about walking away from your life and starting over somewhere else? </b><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">Yes, all the time. Not by myself, but with our little family. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></i>
<b>10. Would you go on a cruise with your family and your extended family (parents, in-laws, siblings, etc)</b><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;">Excellent question!!!! I think I could do it, but only if we had our own room. I couldn't stand to be stuck with anyone in the same room. I need a place to retreat so I don't say something I </span></i><span style="color: #741b47;"><i>shouldn't. </i></span><br />
<i><span style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></i>
<span style="color: #741b47;"><i>11. Is there a subject that you and your husband dance around and try to sweep under the carpet instead of dealing with it? </i></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47;"><i>No, I don't think there is. Usually we have to attack whatever it is to get past it. Even if that takes a while to happen. </i></span></div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 33px; width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: inherit;"><b><u>11 Random Facts about Myself:</u></b></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">1. I am very competitive. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">2. I can get a tan pretty quickly. FM was shaking his head at me </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">yesterday because I've laid out twice this week, </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">less than 20 minutes yesterday and maybe an hour a few days ago and </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">I'm already way darker than he will</span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">ever be, lol. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">3. I like to play playstation with FM. Most wives complain or get </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">annoyed when their hubby plays, not me!</span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">I join in and figure out how to play.... and annihilate all, hahaha =) </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">4. I don't like when the floor is dirty or there are dishes in the sink. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">The rest of the house could be a disaster, </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">but those two things push me over the edge. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">5. Love kickboxing. It's my favorite workout. I like when I punch so </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">hard, the glove and mitt together make a </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">smack and everyone in the class is shocked, lol :)</span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">6. Cupcakes. They're my weakness... lol.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">7. My favorite number is 7. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">8. I get highly annoyed when people use there/their/they're and </span></div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">your/you're wrong. It really bothers me. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">9. I can keep a secret like nobody's business. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">10. I celebrate a birthday week. I drag it out as long as I possibly can </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">and even when I'm 90, I'll enjoy my birthday. </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">11. I don't have one favorite color. I've never been able to pinpoint just </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: inherit;">one color that I like more than others. Even when I was little, I couldn't. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: x-small;">(my pictures wouldn't line up right..... so they're just scattered down here, lol)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBpint-NZD1XTTBY5rFSgq6BygtYlZzs76vNP8QHN_xePOC82eHMD9bG6M0LXJDo-qHS2WjSuGpk4Slp8LUJngV5EQac_Jp2S9iXbZbmXpeO16RYQPyq-1NbMDZi9I0Efbc26lbmWYlDY/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUrjGabLgJlJh1nsS3QzoAUWtwtVsuYd-q5h0OVf30q7lmk45pXzQmvFSHD5juOTsrNDUjYA6DfLf1fUOUiMkkXyw6JmLLIx3lduYhxDCYBxg43hN-RKlCALiXs-d48rykhfcOgeoCk6w/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtUTJVhbcvGASOz8rk3DjJUg_kJvY2FKvoe66WFoNv2sE4WsaJ_qpCi-QI7whRBMlIRx4iFLoN0k8Q6D8qkX5xi5SOk8BrhyphenhyphenIvCT42iQcy2QImnE_AcBJz47auX6dO0jZkDm9oJb4irM/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 33px; width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i style="color: #741b47; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="font-weight: bold; line-height: 33px; width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: inherit;">I don't know who has done this and who hasn't since I was gone for so </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: inherit;">long!!! Please feel free to do it. I love all of the </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: inherit;">blogs I follow and I don't want to leave anyone out. :) Feel free to do </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: inherit;">it even if you already have. I love reading random facts </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: inherit;">about everyone and answering random questions!! :) </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"><b><u>Here are my questions:</u></b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #741b47;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Where is your dream vacation? </span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Would you ever jump out of a plane... on purpose?</span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. What's your favorite way to relax? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. If you could have a super power, what would it be? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. What's your go-to outfit? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. What's the last thing you watched on tv? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Do you believe in ghosts? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">8. What about horoscopes? Do you read yours? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">9. While we're at it, what's your sign? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10. Would you rather eat fruits or vegetables? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">11. What's your favorite spanking implement? </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: inherit;">Now get to it! :) </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">xoxo, </span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Elle</span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="post-body entry-content" itemprop="description articleBody" style="width: 1070px;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #741b47;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
</div>
elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-83310911618813000552014-06-05T10:15:00.001-04:002014-06-05T10:15:42.809-04:00Mostly fixed..... :) <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlR7LnyTozrlsHRrW-Npd_pdGfzgInBBODlvUcbkZGoIC3RY7QlKSCM5EPARUqxsq-6kw4mNlwsnvNqnR47K0jjMlt320Bc2I4G_zGnfVzYwNiM1F-m_ajB9U0VvKnH_8If-2trF4b6jI/s1600/tumblr_n58lgqQ1611qgnnc4o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlR7LnyTozrlsHRrW-Npd_pdGfzgInBBODlvUcbkZGoIC3RY7QlKSCM5EPARUqxsq-6kw4mNlwsnvNqnR47K0jjMlt320Bc2I4G_zGnfVzYwNiM1F-m_ajB9U0VvKnH_8If-2trF4b6jI/s1600/tumblr_n58lgqQ1611qgnnc4o1_500.gif" height="140" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">FM- I know you'll like this one, lol :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: inherit;">I'm needy. I know it, he </span><span style="color: #351c75;">knows it. It's not brand new information, lol :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">I think when things spiral down, I shut it down. If it's been more than a week since we've had sex, I start to not really care if it happens. The more it happens, the more I want it. (Anyone else?) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">Point is, that's exactly what happened. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">The good news is, we didn't have a big blowout like we would've in the past. I really do think ttwd is the reason. Years ago, maybe even last year at this time (even though we were somewhat actively participating in the ttwd club) we would've had a big blowout where we wouldn't speak for a couple days, it would be tense and uncomfortable until one of us broke the ice. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">But not this time. Yes, he was mad. I was annoyed, but no big bomb went off that stopped our lives for days. Growth! lol :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4vvc9cVSfBlqtu0Pkgq37j89yBL2n1IwHQBwFY5QE-dLs7eQLsDvjlTmKCze3Bj03b3Y6YmoXJk42kjdjOHKyY60JPWlB2RzuZmEk24uXWwvL5IEQhuXr1K02r1bU7HNgVPc144Rox8/s1600/281404745405483657_1381672606.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV4vvc9cVSfBlqtu0Pkgq37j89yBL2n1IwHQBwFY5QE-dLs7eQLsDvjlTmKCze3Bj03b3Y6YmoXJk42kjdjOHKyY60JPWlB2RzuZmEk24uXWwvL5IEQhuXr1K02r1bU7HNgVPc144Rox8/s1600/281404745405483657_1381672606.jpg" height="135" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #351c75;">I need the attention. I think that's why ttwd works for us. I get the undivided attention that I crave.... but only sometimes. We have GOT to work on that, too. I'm not even sure when the last time was that we had any spanking time! That's not okay for two closet spankos. He needs it as much as I do. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">Lately, I've noticed he doesn't have that little look in his eye- I think you guys know the one. He doesn't <i>feel</i> it. He <b>needs</b> to feel it. I want and need him to feel it :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">Maybe that was the problem. It wasn't just that he hadn't gotten any, he lost that feeling. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">Last night, we had a little reconnection. He wanted to have some maintenance, which I am sure I needed, but just didn't have it in me to do it. ---- I swear, this is exactly why it needs to happen more often! It's just like sexy time. The more it happens, the more I want it. --- Anyway, we did have some good reconnecting. Even though I got to bed a little later than I wanted, it was worth it. I sent him a true and racy text right as I was falling asleep. I never even heard his reply, though I'm sure it was almost instantaneous. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizDyNjI1pUUcFz2cCs2YHYjSxXwp97DMSew-sOzHflarSJ_SvRR0IBcsI11x2Su8RttX4xXtjYLl2ohXpBLX3T8P6TD8HEqcuE3XaLATbkd8pjCP9RZGzS-eg0zPdY4nlAk_l8PNto4Yo/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizDyNjI1pUUcFz2cCs2YHYjSxXwp97DMSew-sOzHflarSJ_SvRR0IBcsI11x2Su8RttX4xXtjYLl2ohXpBLX3T8P6TD8HEqcuE3XaLATbkd8pjCP9RZGzS-eg0zPdY4nlAk_l8PNto4Yo/s1600/images.jpeg" height="133" width="200" /></a><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">We are going to talk about it today. We have to communicate better and more, even if he thinks I'm not going to like what he has to say. He has to get over it and say what he feels. I want to know. He has to feel important to me, because there's nothing more important. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">I definitely think we need more of ttwd.... I don't want to run it into the ground, but I do really think it needs a larger presence in our life. We both need to feel that feeling and ride that high more often :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;">Hope you all have a great day!!</span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;">Elle </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-73696116240705863862014-06-04T08:27:00.000-04:002014-06-04T08:28:09.741-04:00Another disconnect..<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It's happened once again. That horrible disconnect where everything goes wrong and no matter how hard I try or how many times I say or think we will fix it, it's just <u>not</u> getting back to where it needs to be. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't know exactly when it happened. Things are actually starting to slow down with the kids, unfortunately my training has picked up. What's slipping through the cracks? Us. Our time. Our communication. Everything that involves the two of us seems to have taken a backseat to everything else. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When I started this </span>journey, he was very supportive. Don't get me wrong, he is still supportive, but he's not happy with <i><u>us</u></i> falling behind. The support has wavered slightly, it seems. I'm not happy with it either, but it's different for me. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">Here's one of my chief complaints of my husband. It may not be what you think.... Ready for it? Lying. He thinks it's no big deal. And it's not lying about where he's been or what he's doing. He's not lying about who he talks to or anything like that, don't get the wrong idea. He lies when I asks him what's wrong. Nothing. Obviously something is wrong and either he doesn't want to get into it or whatever, it drives me insane. I just see it as being lied to and instead of him bringing the issue up, he just says nothing and goes back to being a terrible mood for the rest of our short time together. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I asked again this morning what his deal is after he came in the living room, kissed me on the cheek with a curt 'bye' and started to turn around and walk away. It feels like it's more than just the non-sex that's happening here these days, but he only replies with nothing. Then I give him the look, you know the one, and he finally speaks up that I should know what's wrong and implies that I just don't care. I just didn't have the energy and he needed to go anyway. I sat on the couch and stared at him standing in front of me. I looked back to my phone and said it's 6:30. He left. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">Two hours and no text. Same thing happened yesterday morning after we didn't have sex in the shower. That's a tricky subject anyway. He loves shower sex. I hate shower sex. And so it goes. He was pissed when he left yesterday too. He tried to make some moves while we were still in the shower, I knew time was running out and he needed to leave for work. (We generally shower together every morning. I leave while he's still in bed for the gym, I usually wake him up when I get back and we end up showering together. It bums me out when he's gotten up and gotten one without me.. like this morning.. but I knew he had to be there semi-early. I tried to leave the gym early to make it back in time for it.. anyway). </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I know he's feeling neglected. I get it. I really do. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I'm spent though. After getting up early to get to the gym to do my morning cardio, then coming home, getting laundry going, generally doing the dishes, straightening up before the kids get up, my day never stops either. I have a few classes through the week that I head back to the gym for, so that makes my evening busy.. add in the kids' activities and I'm just spent. </span><span style="color: #20124d;">Early bedtimes are over, the kids are staying up later, I'm getting in bed later than I should and that's with zero time spent with FM. I just don't know how to get it all together. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">At the most, I'm getting 6 hours of sleep these days. I'm a sleeper. I need sleep. I always have needed sleep. He can run on just a few hours where I cannot. I get cranky, I get angry... I *need* sleep. I'm on what needs to be a way stricter diet (nutritionally, not cutting way down. It's plenty of food, lol) and I get a little angry when I start getting hungry too. I'm working really hard on new goals and I am just getting lost. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">It feels like I've finally found something that is me and while he is supportive, he doesn't like it. He doesn't like that I'm away in the evenings so much. It's not because he has the kids, he's great with our kids, I think he just doesn't like that I am gone so much. That is super aggravating, because it's fine for him to be gone. He can run on the fire calls and do all the training, but he doesn't like it when I do something similar. At least he doesn't have to worry about my safety, lol. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I want to keep my head in this. It really does take extreme focus and the right mentality, but lately it's getting harder. I don't want to give up. I don't want to stop. I want there to be more hours in the day, but I can't change that either. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">I have more to say, I think... but I've got to run. I can't even proofread this at the moment, so please excuse any typos or run-ons... or sentences that don't make sense. LOL. We all know I tend to ramble, so excuse that too. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;">Hopefully I'll find time this afternoon to come back and fix this post. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;">XO, </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;">Elle </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-44947680951693215312014-05-28T10:12:00.001-04:002014-05-28T10:12:50.193-04:00I'm so behind again! <span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had no intentions of going this long without posting... again! Is everyone else's life as crazy as ours is right now? I thought a few months ago was bad, but this is infinitely busier now. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are still doing fantastic. TTWD is in the background, mostly just as fun, playful, foreplayish at the moment. I'm not sure if we are even doing any punishment type spanking, but I'm not going to intentionally try to find out, lol. We still don't have a set list of rules, I think that was too rigid for us before. I think it was Blondie who suggested we just use the 4 main rules, so far that's how I've been thinking. Not sure about FM, I'll have to ask him. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We haven't had much in the way of our time. The kids have all been in activities with end of the year parties and trying to get everything in. Softball and t-ball games are starting to wrap up, so I'm glad. I love their activities, but I'm looking forward to downtime too. FM has helped out with the tball team and it's so hot to me, lol. He doesn't get it, but something about him being so sweet to not only our kids, but their teammates too, and helping pitch or whatever else to them = an in-love, starry eyed Elle. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm still working out every morning (or almost every morning lol). That's going super well too. To date, I've lost almost 25 pounds :) I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure I'm lighter than when we got married and more in shape than ever before. I was not a runner, ever.. I'm still not really counting myself as a runner, but I ran a mile for the 2nd time ever a few weeks ago. I've run countless miles since then and even did a 5k recently. Ran the entire time! I was so proud! I was a little bummed. I would've loved for FM to be at the finish line, but someone had to be with the kids. I didn't tell him either, so I didn't hold it against him. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I even bought a bikini for this summer. A for-real, 2-piece, top and bottoms separate with midriff showing bikini. lol. I never bought an actual 1-piece, but I have only had tankinis and cute sporty skirts since #1 was born. I haven't work a bikini since 2006. 2006! Oh, and it's even from Victoria's Secret :) I still want to work hard these last few weeks before we hit the beach, but I'm excited. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don't think there's much else to update... I need to catch up and do my liebster (sp?) award post.. I will get to that too! :) Hope you all are doing great! I'll try to catch up on some posts now, too :)</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo!</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">elle :)</span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-14296907866601986392014-04-24T11:48:00.000-04:002014-04-24T11:48:16.907-04:00back to it..For the past 3 days, I've gone at it alone. Fireman is out of town on business and I'm losing my mindddddd... I've changed 800 diapers, I swear all of which were dirty. WTF kid?<br />
<br />
Right now, said child is in a horrific mood and has done nothing but hit and kick. He's into headbutting, my arm is bruised. I'm annoyed. My workout last night sucked, it was a competition of sorts and I should've won. <br />
<br />
Needless to say, I'm ready for him to be home and tonight cannot come soon enough!!!!<br />
<br />
He won't be home very long, then he's off again to fire training. =/ Suckkkss. I'm already dreading it. since I've started this new workout kick, which is a 'lifestyle change' completely, finding time to go the gym is unbelievably difficult with three kids and no husband at home. I'm now admiring single fit moms! More power to them!!<br />
<br />
We talked a lot after my last post, which i took down. I woke up early one morning and freaked out. I thought I'd accidentally said a name or location in my writing and I took it down to comb through it. I trust my blog circle, but i have no idea who peeks at my posts and leaves no comment or trace of them being here, you know?<br />
<br />
Back to the point, we have decided to give it another go. We had a couple of play/maintenance sessions and I think it gave that fire back to us (haha, no pun intended). we haven't set up specific rules or anything, but it's there. It's not an elephant in the room, it's not uncomfortable, it's just there.<br />
<br />
Now, how many hours left til 10pm?<br />
<br />
xo,<br />
Elleelle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-92174023821892144092014-01-18T17:37:00.001-05:002014-01-18T17:37:50.282-05:00Quick question... I'm going to write a blog post soon.. We are doing great, just for the record. We had a great mini-vacay too ;)<br />
<br />
I have a blog showing up on my feed that I'm <b><u>NOT</u></b> following. I even followed it, then unfollowed to take it away. I can't read it.. It's not in English or any other language I speak, lol. Is it spam? I'm confused.<br />
<br />
My twitter has been hacked, but it's not tied to this at all. I don't even use twitter, I just have an account... And it keeps following all these bizarre twitter-ers. <--- see. I don't even know what they're called lol.<br />
<br />
So, how do I fix it? It's posting like, a ton of blogs each day and that's all I can see on my blogger dash board.<br />
<br />
Thanks in advance!<br />
Xo,<br />
Elleelle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-5720156144341627332014-01-15T12:40:00.003-05:002014-01-15T12:40:53.502-05:00A new year, birthday, & slump <span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's been a while. How is everyone? I haven't been reading much, but I've read a little every now and then. <strike>Sounds</strike> Reads (lol) like everyone is doing pretty good. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had a great Christmas, great New Years. The holidays were altogether really good. I actually think there were ZERO arguments while fireman was home on vacation for the holidays. Super rare for us - volcano and tornado that we are, it's easy for us to have a blowup eventually. But nothing. It was great. We had some maintenance and some super hot sex. We even had a date night or two in there. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then work and school and kids got back into a routine. I got into some kind of slump. My brain was just foggy. I was just not into anything. <i>Anything</i>. So maintenance fell behind. I don't think there were any punishments, but they fell away too. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The kids' activities have resumed and I feel like everything is nonstop. Fireman was gone over the weekend, so it's been endless days for me. I have trouble falling asleep, so then I'm tired all day when it starts again. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wanted my check-in post to be all upbeat and positive, but it's just not. I'm back to being in a funk. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely trying my best at just about everything. I'm trying to keep the house (mostly) tidy and clean. Laundry isn't too bad, dishes are almost always done. But things just aren't right. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can't quite put my finger on it.</span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know it's that closeness that's missing too. To be honest, I have no interest in putting forth the effort to fix it. I'm okay. But that's just it. It's just okay. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not sure that anything will make sense to anyone else. And maybe I'll end up posting and then taking it back down. Who knows. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It's a drought. I'm sure some of you will understand. The more sex you have, the more you want it. It's that way for maintenance with me, too. The more it happened, the more I wanted it. But, neither have happened. So I don't have an interest, you know? </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'll talk about it with him during the day sometimes. We will talk about getting things back to where they need to be, but then at the end of the day, I'm just tired and not into it. At all. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've even said he should wake me up so we can shower together. That was supposed to happen the last 2 mornings... But the first, he didn't want to wake me. I had so much trouble falling asleep the night before that he felt I needed the sleep. Then, this morning I didn't get up. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't know. It's just a little cloudy around here. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My birthday is coming up. A new decade and I'm kind of struggling with it. I know.. There are many people who don't get to see this birthday or more birthdays. I know. But I'm still struggling with it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We aren't arguing. No fighting. Not really any disagreements. It's just not quite right. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, let me know how you're all doing. I miss blog land! </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elle </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Ps- I wrote this on my phone. Excuse any crazy typos! I've fixed all the ones I caught while typing, but I'm sure a few slipped through. :)</span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-21354754676477782102013-12-26T12:58:00.004-05:002013-12-26T12:58:59.458-05:00Christmas :) Hope everyone had a great Christmas :)<br />
<br />
We definitely did here. I think the kids actually got everything they wanted. Very rare, since sometimes their requests are a little out there, lol.<br />
<br />
Fireman got me a FireWife shirt, which is actually much cuter than it sounds, lol. He also got me an origami owl bracelet, some of you might know what that is. They're a neat, somewhat new thing around here but growing rapidly.<br />
<br />
Things have been going well. We even had out of town guests that I generally don't get along with and let them get me in a disarray, but that didn't happen this year. FM and I had a long chat and discussed several things. We are doing much better still. ;)<br />
<br />
I thought I had about 85, okay a 95% chance of a Christmas Eve spanking after he saw allll the presents, but he just said I did a great job, lol. I did give him one warning that he could do all the shopping and wrapping next year, lol. :) He definitely wants NO part of that.<br />
<br />
He's off for the rest of the year -- yayyyyyyy!!!! So I'm excited to have so much time with him. Hope every one in blog land had a great holiday with their families :)<br />
Xo,<br />
Elleelle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-82416602111610739892013-12-18T16:20:00.002-05:002013-12-18T16:20:38.455-05:00Update :)<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Very sorry for the MIA. That last post took a lot out of me, I actually wanted to take it down, but he said to leave it up. I thought he'd want it down too, but he insisted. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That may have been the longest time we went without each other. Scratch that probably second longest, ever, but longest since we began ttwd. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We sat in silence for a few days. We talked for several. Mostly via text, because I wasn't home much in the evening. We had tons of things to do in the evenings. We talked and talked and talked and talked. Sometimes in circles. Sometimes he made excellent points. Other times, he completely knew what I was saying and he understood. A <b><u>lot</u></b> came out. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I stayed away from blogger. I read some posts, but I'm mostly out of the loop on anything going on. I apologize for that. I did read every comment. Even one anonymous (lol, I think that's my first negative anonymous comment) that wasn't so great. I really appreciate each comment. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I haven't felt like posting, but I knew I needed to post an update. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are doing very well. We have reinstated ttwd, since Monday. So far, so good. It's still slotted strange, but we are working on it. I'm not sure how much I'll post in the coming days.. Or weeks. I'll be around, definitely. But I'm not sure I'm back to posting-mode just yet. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks again everyone, </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle </span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-40470975503603063192013-12-10T09:56:00.000-05:002013-12-10T09:56:07.105-05:00I wish..<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish a lot of things.. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GDL9KVj9OkI/UqcrQ3vwtJI/AAAAAAAAG9A/aHlnk04pNG8/s1600/13+-+3" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-GDL9KVj9OkI/UqcrQ3vwtJI/AAAAAAAAG9A/aHlnk04pNG8/s320/13+-+3" width="320" /></a></div>
</span><div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish we'd met when we were like, 10. Or even earlier. I wish we'd known each other forever. I wish we had more time together.. In the past. I wish we had been together in high school, it would've saved us both a lot of trouble. Or that we could've been there for each other in college. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish we would've done our wedding differently. Not listened to so many other people and just did what we actually wanted to do. I wish I would've looked at you while I was walking down the aisle. Just at you. Not smiled at the guests as I was walking by. I wish you would've been so in love with me then in the way that I've felt a few times over the past year. Instead, I wonder if it was just the next step. I don't like the memories of our reception. I was alone more than once. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish that kind of love would've carried over to other life events. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've written before about how I wish we would've found ttwd sooner. I think I still wish that. Then, we wouldn't be in this situation we are now. We wouldn't be <i>here</i> because you'd just know what to do. We would've had more time to figure it out without having so much time spent doing things <strike>the wrong</strike> a different way. Getting set in our ways, I guess. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I had all the patience in the world. Or at least more than I do now. I wish I could just be supportive and not jealous that something else gets so much of your time. I wish you wanted to spend time with me the way I do with you. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Soxy2Sh9bzQ/UqcrQ1IotNI/AAAAAAAAG84/dvj1MZFtEvc/s1600/13+-+2" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Soxy2Sh9bzQ/UqcrQ1IotNI/AAAAAAAAG84/dvj1MZFtEvc/s320/13+-+2" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I definitely wish I didn't feel this way. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to be able to not have to worry. To not have to think about things that have happened and have reminders of them. I wish some things never happened. That I had the ability to create magic, go back in time, and to not have made the mistakes. I wish I could unsee the looks I've seen on your face. I wish I could undo it all. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I could just get over everything. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish the blowup on Saturday wouldn't have happened. I wish there wasn't an imprint of your fist in the door. I wish I could've chilled out and not gotten so upset and let my feelings get so hurt. I wish I didn't feel the words you said are true and that they made me feel like I'm not good at all of this stuff in life. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GMphCB4UBMg/UqcrQwUbJEI/AAAAAAAAG9M/l47NFtM4DVc/s1600/13+-+1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GMphCB4UBMg/UqcrQwUbJEI/AAAAAAAAG9M/l47NFtM4DVc/s320/13+-+1" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You have no idea the effect you have on me. In every way. One look, one word, one anything from you can make or break me. Even before ttwd, it's always been that way. I wish it wasn't that way, but it is. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I wasn't so stubborn. I wish we could go on with ttwd like nothing happened. I wish everything... </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-71001867932831612102013-11-30T21:48:00.003-05:002013-11-30T21:48:45.538-05:001 year blog-iversary :) <span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So, last year at this time I decided to be brave and write my intro post. I know I participated in LoL day last year, maybe that's what helped :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have learned so much in the last year. More about myself, (much!) more about ttwd and how to tailor it to us, and how great blogland is. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All of you have helped us so much, I wouldn't have a blog without you. :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Writers and lurkers, I am so thankful for you. I love seeing my page views increase, I love seeing the little alert that says I have a new comment. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks to everyone who helps keep me a blogger! :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elle </span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-43438106193176377612013-11-25T16:00:00.001-05:002013-11-25T16:06:40.932-05:00The weekend & another punishment! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
*sort of long post warning..*<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TkcPZwbaLzs/UpOHFy4P56I/AAAAAAAAG7k/vOv2cK8TOMI/s1600/13+-+4" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TkcPZwbaLzs/UpOHFy4P56I/AAAAAAAAG7k/vOv2cK8TOMI/s200/13+-+4" width="186" /></a><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It seems as though Fireman has found his stride. And I am thankful for it. His confidence has returned, like it was when we first began this journey (and he was beginning to get wayyyy more blowjobs, lol). Then it kind of went away. He started second guessing and even though I was reassuring <strike>sometimes</strike>, it just hadn't clicked back into place. Until now. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He is trusting himself more, I think. He has my trust fully, too, and I think he is aware of it. There is nothing I wouldn't do if he asked (and I'm not only meaning that in a sexual way!). I've told him repeatedly- and even once this morning that he has my trust. I trust him to do the best for us, me, and our family. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7Yl3x0NY6Gg/UpOHFzgDUGI/AAAAAAAAG8A/GefLmTHs1Ak/s1600/13+-+2" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7Yl3x0NY6Gg/UpOHFzgDUGI/AAAAAAAAG8A/GefLmTHs1Ak/s200/13+-+2" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had a fantastic weekend. Friday night was great, then Saturday morning we stayed in bed as long as possible. I had a few things to do Saturday, then we ended up on the couch enjoying the evening with each other. Sunday morning was about the same... We stayed as long as possible until we got ready for church. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We got in the car and I had sort of forgotten about one little thing...getting gas in my car. I remembered as soon as I looked over at him-- lovingly, because he looks so hot in nice clothes-- and he was looking at the gas gauge. Damn you, Yukon! Why can't you have some sort of backup reserve to save me in these situations?! </span><br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d6_2BvzdzwE/UpOHFzHqyzI/AAAAAAAAG74/bbfOuM2r-cU/s1600/13+-+1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="149" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d6_2BvzdzwE/UpOHFzHqyzI/AAAAAAAAG74/bbfOuM2r-cU/s200/13+-+1" width="200" /></a><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I know what FM will think when he reads that part. I'd just use that all up too and try to get by with it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He looked over at me "<b><i><u>You know what that means.</u></i></b>"</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Shit. And I seriously doubt he'll forget this time. Which I'm glad about. I wanted this, the whole thing. He's been doing great and I'm not going to say a word.. </span><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I tried to argue in a cute little way, not serious at all. He just gave me the HoH look. It was hot and (good)scary at the same time :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We had a great day together, I fixed dinner, he helped me clean up the kitchen. He reminded me about later "<b><i><u>don't forget we've moved Monday maintenance to tonight, but you're also in trouble for the gas.</u></i></b>" "<i>So you didn't forget,</i>" I teased. "<b><i><u>No, I didn't forget.</u></i></b>" ::sexy HoH face again::</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I got everything ready for the next day, while he put the baby in his bed. #1&2 had gone to their bed a little while earlier. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<i>I'm going to get a shower real quick if that's okay with you.</i>"</span><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw_ZoGKJ3TEgnD9R7c4InWnFpjrmNz4Igfk6qKiCp9Y8R9CMwQHqCBnxJ71fRXpgOys9amt45iX-dZT7syy2pjVi8uL9kssenP6J3ku3KiSqUGm4ph8pWwIFvpybIfbR-HCG3Lo8W8x_w/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw_ZoGKJ3TEgnD9R7c4InWnFpjrmNz4Igfk6qKiCp9Y8R9CMwQHqCBnxJ71fRXpgOys9amt45iX-dZT7syy2pjVi8uL9kssenP6J3ku3KiSqUGm4ph8pWwIFvpybIfbR-HCG3Lo8W8x_w/s1600/images-2.jpeg" /></a><span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<b><i><u>Of course.</u></i></b>"</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<i>Well, I just thought I'd go ahead so we can watch The Walking Dead and then do everything else.</i>"</span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<b><i><u>Yes, you'll be in bed by 10:30. That's bedtime</u></i></b>," he reminded. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<i>I know, I know.</i>" </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After my shower, we watched our show and the previews for next week. (crazy, if anyone watches TWD!) He told me to go to our room and I went after we talked about nothing for a few minutes. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I was half waiting for him to come in, when I realized I needed to get my pants and panties off and get into position. That's how Monday goes and if this is half-maintenance/half-punishment, that's what I should do. </span><br />
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7n0MkUW-qVwYMYwokrAVRfAQzfYRB6Pr-Yy0T6TPnDMVqMsBhH6FCPasg2n8aCrX3n_v2FvjUGBmW_46px8owDzR4Jjyr1gJexn-xcYsLr_m-zpD3jioGaTEIFLBqMgz0w1_PoHraxdo/s1600/images-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7n0MkUW-qVwYMYwokrAVRfAQzfYRB6Pr-Yy0T6TPnDMVqMsBhH6FCPasg2n8aCrX3n_v2FvjUGBmW_46px8owDzR4Jjyr1gJexn-xcYsLr_m-zpD3jioGaTEIFLBqMgz0w1_PoHraxdo/s1600/images-3.jpeg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I found my spot and waited. I heard him go up to check on the kids.. and I waited. At first I wasn't in the kneeling mood, but the longer I waited, the more I got into it. I do love kneeling on the little stool across the bed for him. It does make me wonder if he likes it too.. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">After a few minutes, he came in. "Making me wait, huh?" </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Well, it is punishment." He really is on top of his HoH game. He started with the guitar strap thing and wow. He really can make it sting sometimes. Are you guys <i><u>sure</u></i> leather is better?? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then, it happened. One strike kind of got away from him and hit harder than usual, harder than he intended. I kinda shrieked out... and he immediately said he apologized for that. I was glad my face was buried.. tears immediately filled my eyes. He only used the strap once more (I think), then used the hairbrush a few. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It wasn't really that bad.. but it took me by surprise. I needed a few minutes to process. "You're finished with your punishment," and he rubbed my back for a while and rubbed my behind. I was still a little stunned. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I got up and he handed me my pants, but I kept my head down. I didn't want him to see the watery eyes for fear that he would freak out. We've never done the spanked to tears thing. He's never suggested or tried, we've barely even talked about it. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"We're going to do maintenance tomorrow since we didn't really get to today."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"Okay," I said, head still down. "I need to go brush my teeth."</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wiped my face, brushed my teeth, and steadied myself for a second. I got in bed and he got in right behind me, snuggling me up tight. I was still processing, but once I finally fell asleep, I slept great. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This morning, he was already gone by the time I woke up. I got #1 off to school and came in to text him, like I always do. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had some time to think about everything. I wasn't mad, I wasn't hurt. The accidentally-too-hard strike wasn't really even that bad. It only extra stung for a minute. It made me realize that I've had it pretty easy compared to others and at times, much easier than I deserve. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We texted about it. He thought I was weird last night because we didn't have sex after, but I told him that wasn't it. He told me that extra-tiredness just hit him right before he told me to go get ready, but he didn't want to postpone the punishment. I let him know that I was <u>very</u> proud of him for that and how well he's being doing lately. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I told him I was just weird because of the one strike (which I don't know what else I can call it...) and he said he wanted to address that. He told me he wanted to make punishment different than maintenance and wanted to make sure I understood the difference. I told him I did, that the way he stood instead of sat, and that it was less fun, more intense than regular maintenance. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He told me he really was sorry and I told him I wasn't mad at all, then I reiterated how much I trust him. We talked about spanking to tears, but he said he didn't want to hurt me. I told him that from what I'd read, it was not from the pain. He said he understood the need for an emotional release, but he's still unsure. So tell me about blogfamily. Who spanks to tears and why? How is it different from not? </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">All I know is.. I can't wait until he gets home from the firestation this evening. I can't wait for maintenance and every/anything that comes after ;)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hope everyone has a good evening! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">xo, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elle</span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-48590341583975333112013-11-22T16:36:00.003-05:002013-11-22T16:39:12.869-05:00Birthdays & punishments<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i><u>"Aren't you getting a bath?"</u></i></b></span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>"Yep.</i>"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i><u>"Well get to it then"</u></i></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I can see what I'm in for. HoH hat on completely. I get everything ready for the next day for my school-going one and start my water. Super hot with scents and softening ingredients, he turns my water off and I get undressed. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I don't stay in super long... But I realize I didn't bring any clothes in with me. It's still somewhat early. The kids have only been in bed for a short time. I come out of the bathroom wrapped in a big towel. He nods and gets up. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Wait a minute.. Isn't it early?</i> </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i><u>Nope. Everything is fine. Go ahead.</u></i></b> He looks down at the little stool I kneel on. <b><i><u>I'll go make sure. </u></i></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I get into my spot and wait. I expect him to have me lean up so he can climb onto the bed and me lay across him like we usually do. He walks up behind me and places his hand on my lower back, removed it, then says "<b><i><u>You know this is punishment. It's not regular maintenance or for fun. It's because you are in trouble." </u></i></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<i>Yes, but it was just a minor infraction."</i></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Smack... The weird leather strappy thing comes down harder than usual. "<b style="font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline;">Two infractions.</b>"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<i>Oww yes, two.. But still...</i>" Smack.. "<i>Minor</i>!"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b><i><u>"Yes. But it's still punishment."</u></i></b></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">He continues and I say ow more than once. When he feels it's enough, he stops and says "<b><i><u>okay. Your punishment is over.</u></i></b>"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I wasn't really sure what to do.. Do I get up? Stay? I just wait a second. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<b><i><u>Come in here with me</u></i></b>" as he walks to the living room. I get up and follow him in. I go to sit beside him and he points to the floor in front of him. No, right here. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<i>Which way</i>?"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">"<b><i><u>Facing me.</u></i></b>" I get into my spot and he says "<b><i><u>now show me some attention.</u></i></b>"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Yummmmmm. And the rest was the end of a great birthday ;) </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hope everyone has a great weekend! </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elle </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #660000; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-78494541483825109832013-11-21T15:32:00.001-05:002013-11-21T15:38:38.906-05:00celebration :)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday I asked for control for just a couple hours. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But it's not for what you think :) It's Fireman's birthday!! I needed to surprise him and so I asked if I could have control for just one or two hours last night. He kept pressing.. why? I can't tell you... but whyyyy? LOL. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He didn't want to give it up. He wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen. I just wanted to surprise him and take him to his favorite restaurant. One that he generally won't go to, because it's slightly pricey and somewhat far away. I organized it all and didn't want him to get in his own way of enjoying it. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sweetened the deal a little. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sent this text *<i>I just need to be in charge from... Okay, maybe just 5-6. I'll make it up to you. As soon as the kids are in bed, you can do whatever you want :) come onnnnnn. That's a pretty good incentive.</i>*</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i><u>Lol. Alright.</u></i></b> *</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So he let me know when he was on his way. I wasn't at home, #1 & #2 had a class, so I said <i>don't come here, just go home and get dressed</i>. <b><i><u>Dressed how?</u></i></b> <i>Just jeans and a cute shirt</i>. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I let him know when we were on our way, but he insisted on driving. I held out as long as I could, then let him figure it out. He smiled and we all had a great dinner. We didn't get to sit next to each other, but we did steal some glances at each other. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turns out, he kinda blew the whole "do anything you want" thing. He didn't realize just exactly what I meant.. so when I told him he blew it, (in a joking way) he informed me that I was in trouble anyway... for breaking a rule we agreed on during the day. It's a minimal rule, but I still broke it.. and then he remembered that I forgot to lock my car the evening before also, oops. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't say no, but I did say that if he wanted to postpone everything until tonight, that was fine with me. I will still so full from dinner and I knew he was too. He just grinned and agreed. :) Yay for progress! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm curious to see how tonight will go. How he will incorporate two rule breaks and what else he may want. It is his birthday after all :)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hopefully I'll have a good update for tomorrow!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #660000;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-47421542423009688872013-11-19T16:28:00.003-05:002013-11-19T16:28:41.870-05:00A Power Struggle.. who knew?!<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I so appreciate everyone's comments from my last post. Blogland is such a great, supportive place. I can always count on you guys for honesty and awesome feedback. I really thing all of you have helped keep ttwd going for Fireman & I. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb0FZEwpdE3NkOy0LL9Gvo3ciMsQKH_QU3EF1iEJtD7eg1wVhvaZV3osK_s7NM5X5FMAvOLfn8jTF5I3NoBUbe389HWZWK9REL4xPIPsvpW0P4ehQhQitx_l6UBHUsIo6_N3cgZhYhJ0g/s1600/images-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb0FZEwpdE3NkOy0LL9Gvo3ciMsQKH_QU3EF1iEJtD7eg1wVhvaZV3osK_s7NM5X5FMAvOLfn8jTF5I3NoBUbe389HWZWK9REL4xPIPsvpW0P4ehQhQitx_l6UBHUsIo6_N3cgZhYhJ0g/s1600/images-1.jpeg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There were a few that really made me realize an issue that I think might be going on. I think at some times, it comes down to a power struggle. In that moment of an argument or disagreement, I don't want to let go. I don't want to give him all the power (or even 51% lol). In that moment, I am not proud of who I am... at all.. but it happens. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have since realized that I need to remember that I'm the one that introduced ttwd to him. I am the one who wanted it a little over a year ago. Probably even before that... but that's when I was courageous enough to bring it up. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivARlp_ejeVYctAilLn4T8PppdARaIUZruE3IfIZwvpfck4rVx3ZNIacyRAQfLZo8oWU-7u7-nWxpNX6_yjinTTwWFic46uiOpsFx0SNFo92fwMIA5I1PI1GH5T1-QQNxczB3wgejmto0/s1600/images-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivARlp_ejeVYctAilLn4T8PppdARaIUZruE3IfIZwvpfck4rVx3ZNIacyRAQfLZo8oWU-7u7-nWxpNX6_yjinTTwWFic46uiOpsFx0SNFo92fwMIA5I1PI1GH5T1-QQNxczB3wgejmto0/s1600/images-2.jpeg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe now that I see that giving him the confidence will only help increase his consistency, I'll be able to give up all my head games and just submit like I want to. I certainly don't want him to feel like I don't want to give him my submission. I really, really, <i><u>really</u></i> do. I trust him with everything. I have told him that, but I want him to know I mean it. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I realize that he will never know I mean it if I try to regain the control in any situations. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaHmMB9GrIrSMEhZWmZHK-A6M0n2qCPJD3XHcW44jaY6ClpEnF4lrIf4NYHikmbSw_Yi6Cs7k5hGWPc4rmtLT_LttKeb5zgF2rIC_uuSfLIEC91Qw-0fVAFRouNR2Hutku2gVbDZ2KRh8/s1600/kneel+side.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaHmMB9GrIrSMEhZWmZHK-A6M0n2qCPJD3XHcW44jaY6ClpEnF4lrIf4NYHikmbSw_Yi6Cs7k5hGWPc4rmtLT_LttKeb5zgF2rIC_uuSfLIEC91Qw-0fVAFRouNR2Hutku2gVbDZ2KRh8/s200/kneel+side.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want him to know that in <b><i><u>our</u></i></b> ttwd, he can have <u>anything</u> he wants.. anytime he wants.. and I want him to know that I truly mean it. :) I hope he believes me and anytime he would like to test this promise, he is welcome to. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks again Blogland friends! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xo, </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-42556456582882768062013-11-18T09:17:00.004-05:002013-11-18T09:17:57.651-05:00Saying no....<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've been trying to write this for some time, but I keep typing and erasing. I've been a terrible blogger lately, but I did love participating in LoL day 8. :) it was great </span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2qNrlwU5UdE/UoofgCsNc_I/AAAAAAAAG5E/4uq2IlKreGw/s1600/13+-+1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2qNrlwU5UdE/UoofgCsNc_I/AAAAAAAAG5E/4uq2IlKreGw/s200/13+-+1" width="200" /></a></span></div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">to hear from everyone, lurker and non-lurker. It <strike>felt</strike> feels great to know there are people out there who actually like reading my posts. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thank you all so much for stopping by! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I have a small problem. I've said no. More than once. I've said I wouldn't do it anymore, but it happened again. I've since promised that I will try really hard and do my absolute best to not say no again... But I'm worried I will. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I guess it's not as easy as I thought. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Of course I can submit when I feel like it. I can go in for maintenance on Mondays and it's fine. It works out great, I feel great, we have that connection afterward. It's perfect. Unless we aren't getting along. That's when there's trouble. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Or if it has been a while since we've had any connection. Then I have some trouble. I don't think I've ever submitted to a punishment. Really. That's a little unbelievable, even for me to write, but it's true. I think I did in the very beginning, it was all very new and exciting then. (It's still exciting!) </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NH4K3zV88Sc/UoohENbLlYI/AAAAAAAAG5w/oYD2AC59cZw/s1600/13+-+2" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="181" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-NH4K3zV88Sc/UoohENbLlYI/AAAAAAAAG5w/oYD2AC59cZw/s200/13+-+2" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I find it very difficult to go when he says and it's not maintenance. Why? How can I fix it? Okay, so maybe I'm a little stubborn. But still. I've agreed to this lifestyle. I <i>want</i> this. I can't only have it when it's good with me, you know? It won't work that way. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fireman said at one point that it's like he doesn't feel like HoH and that I'm still in control. That's certainly <u>not</u> what I want. At all. I do not want to be in charge. I want him to get back to that HoH position and feel confident like he does at time, but I want it to be all the time. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I need to learn how to turn everything off and just listen when he says to go to our bedroom. I complain when he is inconsistent, but how can he be consistent when I'm not? He won't feel confident when he has no idea how I'll react. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-slTmELrOSjw/UoohEMAGnxI/AAAAAAAAG5k/PO73j7Vle6Q/s1600/13+-+1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="137" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-slTmELrOSjw/UoohEMAGnxI/AAAAAAAAG5k/PO73j7Vle6Q/s200/13+-+1" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sooo. If anyone has any suggestions, I'll take them all. </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks again to my lurkers and new readers, please comment again anytime! </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hope everyone has a great day :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Elle </span></div>
elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8001733756393901203.post-66875019824460699852013-11-12T09:26:00.000-05:002013-11-12T09:26:01.152-05:00Love my lurkers :)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OdkxbCChZCI/UoI4713GIZI/AAAAAAAAG4c/nIfriHBF-ZI/s1600/13+-+1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="161" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OdkxbCChZCI/UoI4713GIZI/AAAAAAAAG4c/nIfriHBF-ZI/s200/13+-+1" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Morning everyone :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just in case you haven't seen other blogs yet, today is Love Our Lurkers day!!!! It's the day when those of you who read, but generally don't comment, take a second to say hello. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know it's scary, but you can use a pseudonym. You don't have to list anything personal or give any revealing information. I was a lurker just like you last year. I saw LOL day on a few blogs that I'd been reading and got brave and said hello. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Those few comments lit a tiny spark in me and a little while later, I began my own blog. I have (online) met so many nice people. Everyone in this community has been friendly and helpful. We are an amazing and fun group of people. And we all love our readers, lurkers and commenters. </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Please decide to say hello!! I'd love to hear from you :) </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We will make it fun too. Ask anything and I'll answer. Anything at all :) </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Have a great day being celebrated lurkers!!!! </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Xo, </span><br />
<span style="color: #20124d; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Elle </span>elle :)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15832857681848198913noreply@blogger.com75