The week had gone pretty well. Me texting him last week and asking for it went very well. He followed through that evening as promised. The only thing that I could complain about... He waited until last night to follow-up with more.
Apparently I'm needy and feel like I need maintenance or reaffirmation, whatever you want to call it way more often that most people. (Or so I would assume). I'm not quite sure he picks up on it as much as I feel it, but he really is trying.
I don't think I need it every single day. I don't think that's the case at all. Maybe every other. Or every every other, lol. I think my brain starts to go bananas an think that he doesn't care and that I'm not a priority when he doesn't. Which is absolutely ridiculous, I'm completely aware. Still I feel it.
We are on a mini-vacation right now with our kids and some other family members. So, last night, I got a shower (alone: sad face) and we talked for a minute before I said I was heading to bed. He followed me, but just went about tucking me in. We weren't on super-great terms. It had been a long day and I was aggravated over things that really didn't matter.
He pulled the sheet up and I just kind of stared at him. I honestly think (know?) he was trying to figure out whether or not to attempt a spanking. He stood there for a minute before finally picking up the hairbrush. He tapped it against his palm and said I want to use this tonight. I'm really tired and it's really late. Yeah, I know. But we won't have the opportunity over the next few days. I won't drag it out and I think we need it. We are going to leave this house in a good place.
I wrote that two days ago. I didn't get to finish it after getting the kids in bed and ending up sleeping in a kid-sized bed with little man, lol. I'm not even sure where I was going with this post... But I'm going to go ahead and publish it.
We did have a really great mini-vacation. There was no fighting or being aggravated like there generally is. I think our first trip away practicing ttwd was a success :)
Xo!
Elle
That's great that he initiated maintenance. How often I need it depends on what's going on in our lives. When I'm under a lot of stress, I need it more often to stay balanced.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are abnormal needing a reconnect every few days. I feel myself slipping too, and I know others do as well. It is far easier to stop the slide then to be pulled back up again. In addition, if there have been moments of inconsistency in your ttwd relationship, it is a physical reminder that you make, (as I like to say to Barney)'the list'.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have talked with FM about your feelings on this. There is nothing to be ashamed of and he is there to help you and in turn your relationship.
willie
Hi Elle,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear things are getting back on track and that you had a wonderful mini-vacation.
I understand what you are saying about thinking you aren't a priority or that Fireman doesn't care about ttwd when there isn't maintenance or follow through. I feel the same way.
Hugs,
Roz
Aw yay elle! Im glad the mini vacation went well, and I think irs so cute that he knew a little time with the brush is what you both needed. :)
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me that things are getting much better for you Elle. I am so pleased. And yes, I think from my perspective, every night might just be a little too much. Maybe every three nights? I don't know. I'm sitting here with a red hot bot, and am not really sure what I want!
ReplyDeleteHope you had a lovely break! It's great to get away, even if only for a short time.
Hugs
Ami
Aw so happy to hear that your mini-vacation went well! :) Glad you found a way to work in what you needed too. I bet it was hard with family around but it's a great bad mood "clearer." Have a great weekend, Elle!
ReplyDeleteI also start to fall apart if I go without for too long. It isn't possible to do it everyday, so we stepped up the severity so I feel it longer for the in between times. And I've said the same thing about not feeling like a priority to him!
ReplyDelete