The hairbrush and complaining...

He tried out the hairbrush last night...... On my poor little curvy, bare behind.... 

He was watching some college basketball, I was playing games on my phone, checking Facebook, doing nothing. I'm gonna go hop in the shower. It's 9:37. Ummm yes, I'll hurry. HoH look. Quick cheesy smile.

I grabbed panties out of my drawer and a flimsy tank and hurried in the shower.  I was just getting ready to turn the water off when he placed his arms around me and grabbed the ladies (lol).  I gasped! What is he, a ninja?! I never even heard him, lol. 

We shower together so often I feel lonely if I'm in there by myself. He takes one alone every morning before he leaves for work, so he may not feel the same. Although, I am supposed to be getting up with him, but that's been a big fail... I should start getting up and showering with him every morning. That would be a great way to start the day. He does want me up with him... Which makes me wonder why he hasn't been enforcing that rule? request. I'll have to ask him. 

He dried me off (so sweet!!) and I got dressed in what little attire there was to be dressed in anyway and went to our bedroom. I grabbed my phone to plug in, not really paying attention, then noticed he had his? our? the implements laying on the end of the bed. 

He always places his hand out, gesturing me to the bed. He's not dressed so formally, like this picture though, lol. Sometimes google images are not helpful, lolol :) 

He slid my panties down and I immediately wondered why he let me put them on for the 15/20 seconds that I had them, lol. That thought was immediately followed by the sensation of his hand skimming my leg all the way from my hips to my ankle.... 

Still having trouble with my shoulder/underarm, so it took us a minute to get me into a good position. He began with a little bit of a lecture... The one I'd been waiting on from last week. We have agreed to try to not have such a delayed punishment, but we know in doing ttwd, having three young kids, plus his job, and two fire departments, opportunities aren't always going to be available. We are going to have to be flexible and work around things. 

He started with the little toy ping pong paddle thing. That's always his warmup. I forgot to count, he tapped the right side of my behind. Oh! Two! 

I kept turning around to see what implement was next. I was am? definitely a little afraid of that hairbrush.  He gave me the look again. I turned back around. 

I sometimes think he strikes a little too high. Is he supposed to only get the bottom part of my behind? He said I'll just complain that he strikes in the same place. Which, I then felt badly about. I do NOT need (or want!!!) to comment or complain. I'm really bad to say ow.. or too high.. or any other comments. Whether its maintenance or punishment, I just need to keep my mouth shut. But, that's always been my problem... I need to work on that. If we ever do boot camp, that's something I would want to focus on. 

Overall, I thought the hairbrush was okay. I know he took it easy on me last night. I don't feel it at all today. He said its very easy to control, so that's good. I can definitely see how I could come to not like it though! 


What's your favorite implement? 

Xo! 
Elle 

Thankful & a recap of the weekend...

First, I am so thankful for all of you! I was so worried and nervous and so grateful all of you stopped and took a second to send me love and thoughts! I would absolutely do it for you, too! Fireman was amazing for me (everyday, but specifically yesterday). He was calm and strong, like always. 

He answered questions for me when we first got there when I was too upset to speak coherently, he placed his hand on my shoulder letting me know he was there, and he gathered my things for me when they took me to X-ray. He waited patiently outside that room, then sat right beside me as I laid exhausted on the bed (it was seriously past my bedtime!). I draped my leg on his and he held on tight. 

He told me stories from his day, he had been on a fire call right as soon as he got to the station for training and told me about different things to keep me from going to dark places. He was just there. And I'm so thankful for him too. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I'm glad God picked him for me. :) 

***** birthday weekend *****

Saturday, birthday eve, we did nothing at all during the day and it was great. I knew we had the chance of getting a grandparent babysitter, so I asked him if we could maybe go out. What did you have in mind? Dinner and a movie? That's exactly what I had planned, sounds great. 

We watched television, the kids played, we had yummy lunch. He wouldn't tell me where we were going for dinner. Usually, I figure everything out. I am the hardest person to surprise. He wouldn't budge. I'm excited for dinner. Me too! Where are we eating? No, I will not slip up and tell you. Stop asking. Lol. 

We had great conversation in the car on the way, great conversation at dinner.  The movie was really good. Zero Dark Thirty. Has anyone else seen it? Very intense(!!!) but very good. It was loud and scary at a lot of points, but we both liked it. We got home late, snuggled, and I'm sure I fell asleep quickly. 

On Sunday, we had another great day. Church, the girls picked one of my favorite places for lunch, then we came home. Fireman surprised me with a soooo yummy cookie cake inscribed with Happy Birthday Mommy. Huge surprise!! He really outdid himself this weekend! 

We ordered Italian for dinner, kids got in bed and we snuggled on the couch. :)  It was probably one of the best birthdays I've ever had. :) 

I bought a hairbrush, finally. It's definitely scarier than I thought it would be. We haven't really gotten to try it out. We had a little miscommunication about it... He wanted to try a fun spanking with it, I thought he meant maintenance... He was all giggly and well.. It just ended badly. We talked about it yesterday and got everything straightened out (chalk another one up for communication!!!). I feel so bad that I misunderstood him! And I told him that I was still expecting an actual punishment from last week, so he understood my miscommunication. 

I love ttwd. I know fireman does too. 

The side effects are enough to keep me wanting dd for the rest of my life. The closeness, the ease of (okay, easier) communication, the bedroom effects. I have already told him he's getting a big thank you from me tonight. I was ready to thank him last night, but we were both exhausted after we got home. I need that good-girl spanking (unless he decides I need a real one...) and some sexxxxy time :)  now, how much longer til he gets home?! 


Xo! 
Elle 

Who would've thought?

Last night was a busy night. I swear, I don't see my husband until Thursday some weeks =\ 

I had a hair appointment, the girls each wanted their hair cut, and the only time my beautician had available before my birthday this weekend was last night. I started dinner, fireman finished it, and made my plate. If you don't eat this before you leave, I'm going to be upset with you. Okay, I'll eat it. It looks great. 

It wasn't the sit-down family dinner I swear every week we are going to do every night (so unrealistic for us...), but it was nice (and yummy)!! 

The girls and I went to our appointment, the baby and fireman stayed home and watched the Barrett-Jackson car auction and some college basketball. We stopped by the grocery store on our way home and got back a little later than I'd liked, but we needed groceries, so not much you I can do about it. 

I got everything for #1 ready for school the next morning, we sent the girls to bed, and I cuddled up next to fireman on the couch for a few minutes before my looming bedtime. Did you read any? (One of my requests for the week is to read a financial/budget book.. It's easy to read and I'm a fast reader...). Ummm yes? Crap, I'd forgotten to get to that today. Wrong answer. 

Rats. I figured it was maintenance night and I was wondering if he'd actually punish a little extra for not completing the request. Come on, he gestured to our bedroom. I tried to get out of it a little, giving pointless excuses and reasoning. Why? I have no idea. It's not going to work. I want this lifestyle, so why do I try to get out of it? 

He started, but our bed sits up so high, it's getting awkward to lay across it.  Usually, he does ten with the little toy paddle, but at 12 (counting in my head instead of out loud), I said hey, don't you usually only do 10, isn't that 12? I don't know. Smack. Why don't I know? Smack. Hmm? 14, I counted out loud from then on. Point made, lol :) 

Climb up on the bed. I know, I'm sliding. I scooted. 

No, like completely climb up. 

Now, lay down on your elbows. Oh, what a position. New and scary, but all of the instruction from him made me tingly inside! 

He switched up implements a couple times, rubbed, squeezed... I love the rubbing and squeezing. Then he laid his hand on my lower back and said commanded? instructed: stay there and walked out of the room. Whaaattttt? Yummy. Submission at its finest. Simple instruction, very risqué pose with my chest down, behind up, and facing where I couldn't see the door. I had no idea of what he was doing or how long he'd be gone, but I was staying there. For him. 

He came back. Smack. Rub. What are you going to do tomorrow? Um, laundry? Smack. Rub. What else? Take my mom to the doctor! Smack. Rub. What else? Read! Good girl. Tingles!! Did he just call me a good girl! haawwwwtttt! Smack. Rub. Anything else? Is that a trick question? Smack. I don't know? I was just checking, you're done. Hugs. 

You can go to bed now. Oh I can? Then the look. You don't know when to stop do you? I wondered if he'd come back and spank more, but he didn't. He just tucked me in our bed and kissed me goodnight. 

I went to sleep thinking about him calling me a good girl. I never would've imagined him saying it.... And never would've imagined enjoying it the way I definitely did :) who would've thought?! 

Wonder if I'll get another "good girl" anytime soon.... 

Xo! 
Elle 

My amazing husband :)

Can we give dd another shot? Give me a shot to do it right?  

I read that while shopping yesterday. We had been texting and talking a little of the morning, but at first it seemed to be going okay, then a serious roadblock. I felt like he wasn't getting what I was saying and I shut down. Completely. 

He picked up on it. You are spiraling down and you have to freaking stop. He was right. 1,000 times right. I still couldn't hear it though. I needed a minute, or an hour in this case. I texted him back. I wanted to know everything else he thought. He texted a little, but I got busy and couldn't immediately text back like I wanted to. 

One other thing he said that hit me hard... I'm honestly afraid to stop DD. I already feel like everything is the way in was before we ever started it. We discussed this while I was in the shower after my exercise class last night. He sat outside and we talked some. We were in the same small room and semi face-to-face, but it was hard. I don't want the two of us to only openly communicate through text. I'm glad we can do that during the day. We can figure out so much like that, but I want us to be able to figure things out in person, too. 

Maybe, if need be, we need to follow what some of you do. I think Emi (Veiled Obsessions and maybe Ami (Ami's Star Song), too, do the talking in the spanking position. I can see how that would? could work. 

I'm a writer. I always have been. My essays and writing assignments in school were always the longest. Two-to-four page assignment? Mine was edited down to four. I can explain easier through writing. I can think about my words, edit, rewrite, explain better. I don't want to say the wrong thing. 

He will always let me explain if I say the wrong thing to him, though.  He's amazing in communication, if he can just get me there. I have a tendency to get stuck in my head (as you can very well tell from the last couple days and the rambling posts...). He can pull me out though. He is the only one who can fix it, he always has been. Even pre-dd. he just generally know how to deal with me. Now, I think it's easier for him. 

After our really great talk (in person) last night, that was slow at the start, we actually got somewhere. He listened and understood what I need. He brought up good points from my blog that he read (which I am still so impressed that he did!!). I will be a better H. If that's not one of the sweetest things he's ever said :) 

I asked him what he wanted to do.  I didn't mean for that evening, I kind of just meant for the future, but he took it for the evening. I want you to bend over the couch. One, to prove that I'm in this. Two, because you have broken several rules. And three, you need the release. (Both of us keep forgetting our bedroom is free now that everyone is situated and the baby is in his room). 

What, why? I do not! (I honestly did not see it coming, even though I definitely deserved it). He listed off reasons. Crap. They were all true. I asked for it to just happen tomorrow (today) since I wasn't feeling great. He let it go. I felt bad. 

I asked him to come lay down with me. Neither of us had slept well the past few nights. I thought that was sweet when he told me earlier in the convo that he hadn't either. Usually, he goes right to sleep. While I don't like that he didn't sleep well, it did make me feel good that he was worried about us (no danger of either of us leaving, it was just that things had been So good. He didn't want that to end). 

He climbed in our bed, but I had a change of heart. If we were going to do this, we were going to do it right. I said, if you really want to, we can. No, that's alright. I just stood there by the edge of the bed. He got up and went to get the implement(s!!). 

What followed was the best one he's ever given. Tears. Hugs. More hugs. 

We are back. Yay! 

Thank you to everyone who responded and gave advice. I needed the good and bad. :) I'm glad I went on to write part 3. That's where my fireman made his comeback and everyone could see how wonderful he really is. 


Xo! 
Elle    

Implements?

One thing I've wondered about lately... Where do you buy your implements?  We live in a small town. There are a few sexxxxy type shops somewhat near here, but I'm about 2 hours away from a major city. There is a lingerie store (dirtier kinkier?) than Victoria's Secret that's about 10 minutes from here, but I've never been there. I'd have to drive a little over an hour to get to a self-proclaimed "adult superstore."

Or are they an online preferable purchase items? I have googled, but I don't know what to look for. I don't want to be too brave and purchase something we aren't ready for. I don't even own a wooden hairbrush (yet) or wooden spoon!

And then do I go by myself? Do we go together? Does he go alone? I'm not really modest about things, but I have zero experience with shopping at these places. I don't want to feel intimidated, but I don't want to order online and have no clue of what I'm buying. Even when I'm shopping for vanilla, everyday things I like to see them. I like to examine other options and compare.

We rarely have time alone together, but is it worth it to get a sitter and go to a store? We are actually going to a big city tomorrow together to a NFL game!! I'm so excited. We haven't been in a while, I was pregnant or had a brand-newborn last football season, so that wasn't an option. Maybe I should google a store near there and try to go by after the game? I don't know if he'd be up for that, though.

If we were to go, what do we even look at?! I don't even know where to start. I've read many posts about how implements are different for different couples; that one thing isn't as painful or severe for some as it is others. I don't know. So many options and not many places to go near me.

I guess any and all advice is appreciated! :)

Xo!
Elle