Tuesday, November 19, 2013
A Power Struggle.. who knew?!
I so appreciate everyone's comments from my last post. Blogland is such a great, supportive place. I can always count on you guys for honesty and awesome feedback. I really thing all of you have helped keep ttwd going for Fireman & I.
There were a few that really made me realize an issue that I think might be going on. I think at some times, it comes down to a power struggle. In that moment of an argument or disagreement, I don't want to let go. I don't want to give him all the power (or even 51% lol). In that moment, I am not proud of who I am... at all.. but it happens.
I have since realized that I need to remember that I'm the one that introduced ttwd to him. I am the one who wanted it a little over a year ago. Probably even before that... but that's when I was courageous enough to bring it up.
Maybe now that I see that giving him the confidence will only help increase his consistency, I'll be able to give up all my head games and just submit like I want to. I certainly don't want him to feel like I don't want to give him my submission. I really, really, really do. I trust him with everything. I have told him that, but I want him to know I mean it.
I realize that he will never know I mean it if I try to regain the control in any situations.
I want him to know that in our ttwd, he can have anything he wants.. anytime he wants.. and I want him to know that I truly mean it. :) I hope he believes me and anytime he would like to test this promise, he is welcome to.
Thanks again Blogland friends!