We had a great Christmas, great New Years. The holidays were altogether really good. I actually think there were ZERO arguments while fireman was home on vacation for the holidays. Super rare for us - volcano and tornado that we are, it's easy for us to have a blowup eventually. But nothing. It was great. We had some maintenance and some super hot sex. We even had a date night or two in there. :)
Then work and school and kids got back into a routine. I got into some kind of slump. My brain was just foggy. I was just not into anything. Anything. So maintenance fell behind. I don't think there were any punishments, but they fell away too.
The kids' activities have resumed and I feel like everything is nonstop. Fireman was gone over the weekend, so it's been endless days for me. I have trouble falling asleep, so then I'm tired all day when it starts again.
I wanted my check-in post to be all upbeat and positive, but it's just not. I'm back to being in a funk. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely trying my best at just about everything. I'm trying to keep the house (mostly) tidy and clean. Laundry isn't too bad, dishes are almost always done. But things just aren't right.
I can't quite put my finger on it.
I know it's that closeness that's missing too. To be honest, I have no interest in putting forth the effort to fix it. I'm okay. But that's just it. It's just okay.
I'm not sure that anything will make sense to anyone else. And maybe I'll end up posting and then taking it back down. Who knows. :)
It's a drought. I'm sure some of you will understand. The more sex you have, the more you want it. It's that way for maintenance with me, too. The more it happened, the more I wanted it. But, neither have happened. So I don't have an interest, you know?
I'll talk about it with him during the day sometimes. We will talk about getting things back to where they need to be, but then at the end of the day, I'm just tired and not into it. At all.
I've even said he should wake me up so we can shower together. That was supposed to happen the last 2 mornings... But the first, he didn't want to wake me. I had so much trouble falling asleep the night before that he felt I needed the sleep. Then, this morning I didn't get up.
I don't know. It's just a little cloudy around here.
My birthday is coming up. A new decade and I'm kind of struggling with it. I know.. There are many people who don't get to see this birthday or more birthdays. I know. But I'm still struggling with it.
We aren't arguing. No fighting. Not really any disagreements. It's just not quite right.
So, let me know how you're all doing. I miss blog land!
Ps- I wrote this on my phone. Excuse any crazy typos! I've fixed all the ones I caught while typing, but I'm sure a few slipped through. :)