Trust & Two years ago :)

It's been so long since I checked blogger and caught up with everyone's posts.  It's been so hard to carve out time to find to just read and catch up. I have missed everyone and I know I've missed a lot of posts. I hope you all are doing well.  :) 

Yesterday I checked my little TimeHop app- which by the way I love. I wish I would've downloaded it sooner than I did. I didn't realize how neat it was too see what you posted on Facebook years ago. I haven't been on instagram long, but that's fun to see too.  Anyway, I saw a post that reminded me of what we had done two years ago.. when I found the courage to bring up ttwd and probably saving our marriage forever. 

We've had bumps with it. We're not even practicing right now.. I do wish we were, but he knows the terms.  It's just up to him to fix himself so that we can move on. I can't do a ttwd lifestyle when he's still doing the one thing that I cannot handle. How would that ever work? But.. this post isn't about that. 

I  just can't believe it was two years ago.  

So much has changed since then, so much has been fixed, so much of the way I used to react and things I'd say.  I don't always still act like we are in a ttwd relationship, since we aren't, but I still see his looks. He may not mean to give them, but he does, lol.  

Even yesterday at breakfast.. I can't remember what I said, but he had a little threatening comment.  I politely reminded him that he couldn't do anything about it.. and he reminded me that the leather around his waist said he would, lol.  

I did try to initiate a conversation about when we are going to start it up again, but no dice. He just isn't really into talking about it and the bustle of breakfast didn't really allow for a convo about it. We had family stuff to do yesterday, then we came home to watch football and I fell asleep on him.  What can I say? He is a comfy place for me to fall asleep.  

I texted him a bit ago to let him know I did want to talk about it. He said okay and he'd let me know when he had a few minutes. I hate Mondays. It's still our busiest day of the week and he's not home until late. Coming off of Sunday when I usually get to spend all day when him, Monday is hard.  

Recently though, I realized that I really do trust this man with everything. Every thing I have, am, will be. I trust him.  I think that at the beginning of ttwd, I didn't. I know that I didn't at the beginning of our marriage either. I just didn't get it.  Maybe I was too young to realize or maybe it just takes time, I don't know. Or maybe ttwd helped with that. 

All I know is, I'm mad at him one minute.. and what would have drawn out into a three day argument before only lasts about 5 minutes now. I am more patient and more thoughtful about things. 

I want ttwd back, for the dynamic, for the feeling you get, for the hot sex, lol. I want it backkkkk. :) 

Other than that, things are fantastic around here. Just busy, like usual. We've added in a few more activities for the kids, so even busier than usual, but I wouldn't change it. I love this time of year, I love the cool weather and the leaves. I love Halloween and all of the fun decorations. I'm even one of those weird people that love the snow. I love all of it. :) 

Can't wait to catch up with everyone to see how it's going with everyone else. :) 
xo, 
Elle