First, thank you all for your kind words and advice. I really appreciated it.. most of it, lol :) No, just kidding. I really did appreciate all of it. Even the one that I didn't appreciate got some dialogue rolling between FM and I.. and even though it wasn't accurate, I did appreciate it.
We are on the way up. We talked. I think it took at least a week. We tried getting back to normal after the initial talk we had. But it was the usual us. Nothing resolved, nothing really hashed out. Just hurt feelings and some conversation that touched the surface of things that had been going on. It was classic us.
Until the following Monday. I was stressed and anxious with him being away from me. Mondays are always hard for us because we've had the weekend together, then we are apart for the entire day. From morning shower to bedtime, apart.
I didn't really ask him to quit the habit in our earlier conversations. So when Monday rolled around and I knew what he was doing at work, it just brought everything back to the surface for me, along with everything that had been said. It was just too much and another very large fight erupted.
I wanted to text him. I wanted to just have the old FM back, but we couldn't go back. There was no back because what I'd thought was clouded now, you know? It was a mess.
Then somehow we started discussing things. Everything. Things from the beginning, things from the middle, things from the present. We talked A LOT. Mostly over text, but it just kept going. We text-talk well, lol.
Then we got a date night last weekend and got reconnected. We made a few deals and it wasn't my plan to get the discussion of bringing ttwd back, but it happened. I texted without really thinking that I wished we could bring ttwd back in our lives. He replied he was already there.
But, I said there was no way I could do it with him still doing the thing I had a huge problem with, that he had been hiding from me for so long. It would never work. He just replied that he understood.
Then on our date, actually I think it was before, we came to an agreement. We had a fun spanking session before we left.. it was a deal we had made lol. During the day he commented about something, but when I wanted a more in-depth description, he didn't really want to talk about it. So I said I'd be up for a session before we went to dinner if he told me. It worked ;) And it was really hot to have it before we left. It got the date started off the best way possible. I missed that connection so much that I made him another deal. We will get back to ttwd if he quits. Really quits for good. Deal, he said. Hopefully that's incentive enough for him to kick the habit.
We are doing well now, really well. It's a little touchy from time to time, just because wounds are still a little fresh, but we are okay. :)