On the mend :)

I didn't think it would take very long.. I can't stay away from him. Even when I'm so mad or upset, he's my magnet. Something in him pulls at something in me.  He is impossible not to talk to, not to text. He smiles and I melt. Don't get me started on if he winks at me.... :) 

I think I lasted until 11 on Monday. I told myself I was not going to text him, that I was going to wait and let him initiate the conversation. Did that work? No. I can't stand it. I want to know what he's thinking, where he is, and how he's feeling. Even if I'm mad at him. 

We are passionate, we always have been. We fight, we make up. This scene is perfectly us. We live an amazingly love-filled life. But, we do fight. Sometimes I'll hear other people say oh, we never fight or argue. We just get along all the time.  I wouldn't trade with them, not for one second. 

I wasn't sure, however, if I could continue ttwd. It's just so vulnerable and when you're upset with the other person... It's hard to give them that control. It's hard to get your mind to realize that other person loves you more than anything and that you can do this. Maybe it's not like that for you experienced dd'ers. Maybe you get to that point where even if you don't want to, or thing you can, you still go otk/otb. 

That's where I'm going to be though. No more taking back consent. I know that's the big no-no for the wife. Whereas the husband's is don't spank in anger, the wife's is don't take back consent. I do feel really badly about it. I know it was wrong. I will not do it again and I have been told it won't matter anyway. We aren't quitting ttwd and if I were to take back consent,  you will have red streaks on your ass. 

We texted and texted Monday and Tuesday. He apologized. I apologized. We worked things out. We were honest and truthful, I think. And we are going to work on this, work on us. We aren't quitting ttwd. It's too beneficial, too good for us. It might not go perfectly everyday, but we will continue on. 

He said we are going to start over, from square one. He wants to work on his consistency, so he wants to start out with only a few rules and try to enforce them if needed. We are going to write them in our day one journal app (it has a passcode) and add to them when we need to. 

I think it's going to work and our dd life is definitely on the mend :) 

Xo, 
Elle