Friday, March 1, 2013

Delay, maintenance, communication :)

First, We have a new blogger and she's pretty good. I think you guys will like her. Hop over to Tasha Madison's blog and say hello :) 

Today is Friday!!! Except..... We have a small problem. Our sitter had to cancel for tonight, but she wants to watch them tomorrow. Fireman said he was sorry, but would I mind a Saturday date instead? 

Saturday is better actually. It's Friday, I'm catholic, our eating options are limited. (He's not Catholic, but I still follow my traditions). I had forgotten about everything when I asked him about a date night on Friday earlier in the week, so other than having to wait another 24 hours, it's actually better. So... Tiny delay. But, it's still happening, so I'm happy. 

We talked texted yesterday about some good stuff, too. I started out by asking if he'd read my blog post (Looking to Friday) to get his feedback on it. He's been busy lately, so he hasn't gotten the chance to make any posts or leave feedback here, but he generally always reads my posts and gives me feedback. 

** You are right in the fact that I don't want to be too strict. There's a fine line there to me and I've not yet found my own balance with rules and enforcement.


I feel like you've become too attached to your phone and it takes away any interest in me and my "opportunity" to spring something spur of the moment on you. We can't even watch tv without you playing games on your phone. Hardly ever. And I'm really becoming aggravated over it. US time is few and far between as it is with the kids brung sick or not going to bed on time. 

I know you can multitask that. But that is really missing the point of why I want your undivided attention just trying to sit on the couch and enjoy a show with your or something.

I was a little stunned. I really had no idea. *okay* is all I could text. I was really trying to just listen. 

*I feel like every time we watch tv and you're playing in your phone and I make a light comment about quitting playing on it to watch with me, you give me a semi-aggravated retort about how you can multitask. I don't care that you can do both. I know you're capable. But you miss my point completely. I feel like I compete for your time.

*You didn't say it seriously. I didn't know you were that serious about it.*

*Thats me trying to be polite and not be an asshole about it. 

But it's not getting across to you.

*I think you're going to have to get a little stricter. Right now you're at like 0. 

I don't know when you're serious and when you aren't.*

*Nice. Alright. That's fair enough.*


So, we had a good conversation after that about what's expected of me, what he's going to do, etc. I'm going to work on Submissive Elle, but I told him I feel like he needs to be more Dominate too. He agreed and actually liked the term, lol. 

I gave him all control for our date night, which is now tomorrow night. I said the minute we gets the kids to the sitter, you're in charge. Completely. I asked him how far he would take it... I'm really curious to find out. 
His only reply was *Lol. Idk. Guess you'll have to wait and see.*

Will he bring up some sort of exercise to feel his dominance? Will he request I wear something specific, do something specific (sexual or not...)?  I'm interested, but he's given no hint. I really want this control to help him, too, not just me. 

I know this twd increases his self-confidence exponentially. Here and out in the world. That's one of my favorite things about dd. He deserves to feel that way!! Last night, we had maintenance (yay!!!) and some steamy business after ;) 

I texted him this morning to get feedback on how last night went... 
*I will say I feel like a million bucks this morning.

*Was it the spanking or the sex?

*Lol, both!!

Now I'm looking forward to Saturday. :) I'm super glad today is Friday though.  We will have a nice dinner in as a family together. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!



  1. Glad things are going well right now. Enjoy your Saturday :)

  2. Sounds like you actually just got a phone rule. Its funny there have been times when one just starts doing things because she knows Daddy likes and then if it doesn't happen one time he gets in a huff because he is expecting it and behold it becomes a rule. There have been quite a few rules started this way, some are hard to follow too.

    Dominance and submission feed each other the more you give the more control he will want.

    Have a great time tomorrow night, just thinking about it must have you giddy.

  3. Elle, I don't see your email address on your blog so I'm using this comment to say I read your comment on Tasha Madison's blog and would suggest that your Fireman has to find a way to get his friend to ask why Fireman's marriage is a lot of fun and his is not. Then it could perhaps be shared.

  4. I know exactly what you mean when you're not sure if he's serious about something or not. After 25 years I've gotten better at reading him, but sometimes he's still hard to read. It would be nice if they came with a manual lol but they probably think the same about us. Have a good time tomorrow night.

  5. I think this is a lovely post Elle.

    As an 'older woman' I can identify with the 'using your phone all the time' comments. Go bury it in a drawer when he's home - life still goes on without them you know. If you give him all your attention, just think about what it can/will lead to..... I only use my phone for when I go out in the car in case of emergencies like punctures on motorways etc.

    I also love the way you are now communicating with your Fireman. It's so good to cultivate this type of communication, and very difficult when your husband works shifts. I understand that because when we first married Starman was a police officer and the shift pattern was awful with many shifts back-to-back.

    I hope you date night goes well and I shall be looking forward to reading all about it.

    Many hugs,


  6. Oh Elle, I can so relate to the phone thing. Seems Fireman and Rick are on the same page.

    Rick is very jealous of our alone time and does not tolerate competing for my attention. In fact, we have certain rules in place for when we are spending time together.


  7. Oh I hope you had fun and seriously, I think phones are getting out of hand. NPR did a story the other day about how the "average" family can't even have dinner together anymore without someone checking a text, checking email etc. It wasn't all about the kids either. The parents were just as bad. I think we all need to learn how to put the electronics down and I'm just as guilty. I like to have my iPad there while he watches something b/c I'm usually not interested, but it means the world to him if I just put it away and snuggle up with him. It's hard...but I'm trying to do it more often.