Sunday, March 17, 2013

Working on us :)

I was just watching this movie and one of the characters said "if you can't be vulnerable with your husband, who can you be vulnerable with?"  So true.  It only took about 0.2 seconds for that to hit me.  You married this man.  You picked this man for the rest of your life.  Why not give him 100% access to you.. every part of you? 

It makes sense to me.  I have said it before, I don't know what I did to deserve him :) He deserves to have every part of me.

An update, since I just realized I hadn't really checked in in a while.  We set out a list of rules, a very short list, actually.  We have laundry 4x a week (my rule.. I tend to let it pile up and then it suffocates me), dishes every weekday (my rule also.. same thing).  
I was just looking at our DayOne journal app to get the other rule.. I cannot remember it and somehow the app on the iPad has deleted everything.... I'll have to check Fireman's phone when he gets home.  

I asked him if we were using the four D's also and he had completely forgotten about reading them before.  I tried to find them on a couple websites, but I eventually had to google and found a blog that defined them.  I wasn't doing a very good job explaining, lol.  Fireman just kind of looked at me confused, so I took a screen shot from my iPhone and sent it to him. 

For anyone new, the 4 D's are Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, and Dangerous. The 4 D's are now added to our rules list, too.  

I think that this is really going to help us.  So far, no rules broken, no punishments set.  I think I just realized something though.. he listed a specific number of swats (? for lack of a better word) to the rule if it were to be broken, but it's not any worse than maintenance.  I need to clarify those terms.  It won't really be a punishment if he is doing less than maintenance, right?  Maybe those are extra strikes on top of a regular amount? I don't know.  Typing this post just made me figure that out.  See, blogging helps! :)

I think we've been too busy for many rules to be broken.  I feel like we go nonstop.  Even right now, he's gone on a fire call.  We have some crazy snowy weather going on and there have been a few wrecks.  He called to say while they were on one call, they got a few more.  

Our agreement is for me to ask for maintenance if I feel like I need it, but that is so hard to do! I probably should've asked for it Friday night or last night.. or both, but I didn't.  I guess if he doesn't bring it up tonight, I will.  I think that's usually our cocktail for an argument.  I will not let it spiral out of control today like we have the past few Sundays. 

I love ttwd.  I love knowing that he is in control and that I am his :)  best. feeling. ever. 

Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!


  1. Hi Hon!
    Good blog - lots of good thoughts!
    Yes, giving over control also means giving him everything.
    We use 5 Ds:
    Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, and Dangerous and disloyalty.
    I define disloyalty as being disrespectful behind his back. I've often heard women speaking badly about their husbands when their husbands are not present and I find that disloyal. I don't want to be part of those types of conversations. In fact, I don't want them as friends. I am only disciplined for breaking any of the 5 Ds. Those are the rules that modify bad behavior. If we are respectful, obedience, take care of ourselves and those we love, are loyal in word and deed, always tell the truth, no matter what - then we are doing all we can to be good submissive wives to help make our home a happy and peaceful one.
    Chores are something we share and both take responsibility for, because we both work outside the home.
    If in need - ask! Our hubbies are there to help us stay on track. They would rather give us maintenance than have us break a rule!!
    Happy Sunday
    Jack's Jill

  2. Hey Elle...Sounds like you and Fireman are starting off well. Just don't let yourself get caught up in the rules rather than in the communication and you will be just fine.


  3. I'm glad you're doing well, Elle!


  4. Hiya Elle & Fireman,
    Very nice to see you're doing so well!
    I have always used & taught (olDd timers alert!) The 5 DD Categories. Dishonesty, Disobedience, Disrespect, Safety & Health. When the HoH Rules List is being developed, the little acronym I usually share to help new couples remember is 3DiSH or 3DS&H. But whatever a couple comes up with that makes sense to them and they remember (or don't lose on their iPad lol) is what works best!
    It looks like you two have been doing that wonderfully :)
    Your friend,
    MrBB :)

  5. Hi Elle, I'm glad to hear you and Fireman are communicating and getting back on track.


  6. Hi Elle

    It sounds like you're in a good place. I'm happy for you guys x

  7. I remember trying to explain the 4D's also. He just didn't get it so I tried to find somewhere that it was explained well since I had read plenty of places that it had been explained but I couldn't find any then. I'm pretty sure I didn't get the point of them across because we talked about it last night and a light bulb sort of went off in his head so he gets it now and they are now added to our rule list as well. We have 5 D's though, Disrespect, Dishonesty, Disobedience, Dangerous and Distant.

    I agree that knowing he is in control and I am his is a wonderful feeling :)

  8. Sounds like you guys are doing great.