Written by Fireman & me :)

My fireman posted this as a comment on my Submission post, but I think it needed to be its own post :) 

At the risk of totally hijacking my loves blog, I want to offer a perspective if I may. I came from a semi-old fashioned home. Both parents worked, and mom waited on my dad hand-and-foot as the saying goes. Dad was never demanding about it though, don't misinterpret. In retrospect, dad just was overly helpful/considerate in some ways I think. Very rarely do I ask L to do things for me. God knows the kids run her ragged all day. The way I feel about it, is that I have two legs and can get my lazy ass up and do whatever I need to. Dare I say it, but I feel a bit like an ass to have her do these trivial things. I don't EXPECT her to make my dinner plate. I've even gotten the angry eye for doing it myself. My "motive" if you will is to be "helpful", and no more a burden upon her than any other way that I'm likely oblivious to already. 

The point I'm trying to make, whether it bares any similarity for any of you ladies, is that "submissiveness" MIGHT have more to do with us guys. I'm appreciative for everything my love does. I'm probably not helping her BE submissive because of the things I try to take care of on my own. So in trying to do the "good husband" things in my eyes, I'm likely impeding this feeling for her unknowingly. And I wonder if I'm not alone amongst other husbands. I actually had no idea that this happened for her at my family function. I DID notice that she seemed a little too excited/anxious to get me the pie, but the curiosity disappeared about as quickly as the slice on my plate. Obviously, I need to be more cognizant of these "little opportunities"? And surely this can go both ways, I mean, we do LIVE FOR one another, right? This could be just as difficult for me as it is for her!!! Lol.

I love that you said we live for one another :) it makes me melt. You have a good point. Maybe a lady's submissiveness can be helped more by her husband. 

Maybe it's a great idea that Pocahontas had in this post. She wrote how they talked about what being submissive, and correspondingly dominant also, means to both of them and that it really helped their expectations. Maybe we need to do this too? 

We also just talked via text about the statement he made about his mom waiting on his dad. That shocked me because she doesn't do it now. (She has even told me, why are you making his plate? He can make his own plate!) She doesn't as much anymore. But when we were kids, it was drastically different. 

I don't want to stop and make it look like it never happened..

Definitely something to think about for me today. 

Xo,

Elle & Fireman :) 

How we met 2

Fireman left a comment last night on my last post with his fill-ins. (I have to mention that it was while I was asleep, with a new bedtime rule that he implemented, lol). 

He was ill on Monday when I wrote the last post. Some crazy stomach bug hit our house. It was the first morning after my new bedtime and he wanted me to wake up with him. I was looking forward to beginning our day with conserving water together ;) when he got up at 6:30, I eagerly sat up too. He was right, I felt refreshed after much my much earlier than normal bedtime. I'm not going to work, love. I've been up all night sick. Why didn't you wake me?! I didn't want to wake you, I wanted you to sleep. I'm alright, just not going in today. 

I knew he was really sick when he wasn't working. This man never misses work. He slept most of the day and suddenly I started to feel like I was getting sick, too. Noooooooo! I had way too much to do, I could not get sick! I prayed and prayed. I willed it away. I took some OTC medication. When I arrived back at home, I crashed. It finally hit me, not sickness, just exhaustion. I went to bed, he tucked me in, and told me he'd stay home the following day if needed. Seriously, do I have the best man ever, or what? ;) 

So, in fighting the sickness and running around all day, I forgot one HUGE detail! I still think about it to this day, but I forgot to add it to our story. 

My fireman commented, but I wanted to make sure everyone saw it, so I'm going to add it here. I sometimes forget to go back and check for comment replies, so I figure some of you might, too. 

******* from Fireman

I'll fill in a few bits, for sure. I wasn't a rich kid, quite the opposite. My buddies were all buying motorcycles and picking up girls, but the only way I could afford it was to buy a wrecked bike and rebuild it piece by piece. Now, being a 22 yr/old nice guy, I'm here to tell you nice guys finished last. Over and over. And for a kid with no money, zero self confidence, and in the middle of undergraduate Chemistry degree, women weren't exactly beating down my door. But that night I met L, something was different. The reason I didn't peruse her right off the bat was that she was engaged. I was several months from a failed engagement by someone who kuckled me, and that wasn't my style to do to someone else. However, L's friend kept feeding me behind the scenes how bad her fiancé treated her and how she didn't really know why they were even engaged. It took me a few months to get the courage to go back and even say "Hi". But in doing so, I reaffirmed to me that there was something - like magic. Our text and online conversations just let her get to know me since we couldn't exactly hang out on a daily basis. But, what sealed the deal...

A few months later, my friend and I rode down to a nearby town to watch a Friday night football game that I gave two shits about, but I had nothing better to do. Low and behold, there was L and her fiancé, and I saw them in passing by the concession stand. But when she saw me, I couldn't exactly go up and say hi, I didn't want to make a scene either. But when she finally saw me from a distance, I simply gave her a wink and a smile - thank you Mr. Sinatra. And for guys that may read this, I'm here to tell you I've loved three women in my life. None like my L, but the one thing that got me noticed, was a wink and smile. I guess my L was the only one meant to stick around. I spent much of my youth trying to convince girls that "being a nice guy" was a desirable thing. It took me a lot of heart ache to find someone to believe it. I'll be the first to admit I'm not perfect. I take great pride in trying to be, and have most of my life. That's my style I guess. But knowing we all fall short of the glory of God, I figure the best I can do is to be better than I was the day before. Surely that counts for something. 

But like she said, I literally was smiling thru the phone when she decided I was worth the chance. It hasn't been without our own heartache. Sometimes, I thought they made the movie "The Notebook" about our life!! Lol. I think those years have simply been growing pains on our journey of growing old together. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :-)

**** 

I had no idea he'd be there at that game. My brother was playing for our high school team and I, of course, was his biggest fan. Towards half-time I had to find the ladies room. It was an away game for us, semi-close but not the nicest town. 

My mom didn't want me to go to the other side alone, so my fiancé at the time walked me over. He was waiting in the long line with me, but I don't think we were really speaking much at the time. 

For no reason at all, I turned around. I just felt it. I guess looking back now, the magnet was already there. 

There he was walking by, carrying his helmet, and he winked at me. I smiled instantly. My heart was fluttering and I had butterflies just from seeing him. It was crazy! 

I secretly glanced around for him for the remainder of the game. I just wanted another chance to talk to him! I am amazed at the way our story happened ;) 

And, let me tell you. He is the nicest guy. He truly is. But he has the facade of a bad boy. Motorcycle riding, guitar playing, fast car, he's even got the look of a bad boy, but he's all that wrapped around a nice guy. 

I'm the luckiest girl ever ;) 

From Fireman

Fireman here. For those keeping track, this is my first official post (well, response really). I feel compelled to give a big thanks for everyone who has input your thought, prayers, and support to my love. Seriously, thank you all.

 And especially you ladies, thank you for supporting me even though you only got her side of the story - and there's ALWAYS two sides to every story. That said, I give L a lot of credit for confiding in this community, and even representing the situation fairly accurately. 

I've not read every single blog she's written, but I want to say that before ttwd, there really were some bad times between us. DD in my heart has saved us. And we're still baby stepping! Lol. I won't hijack her thread any further. I want to clarify that communication has ALWAYS been a weak point for us. In the past when there were bumps, it was either silence or arguing.

Communication and resolution has typically came via text while I was away at work because that seemed the only way for us to talk without tone of voice or mannerisms making things worse. TTWD has changed US together already in such a way that the triggers to arguments and hardships has vanished. Practically overnight. 

I probably wasn't as on board as I should have been, prior to the commissioning of Parts 1 - 3, but like one of the ladies pointed out, I hurt inside when things aren't right between us. But this girl is the love of my life, and my best friend. Sometimes we have to get out of our own way to fix the messes we've made. And because of the position I started off in by not knowing what was wrong, doing nothing was unacceptable so I did what I knew to do I get our house back on solid ground. 

I'm thankful that she listened to all of your input, this certainly wouldn't have been resolved this soon or this well prior to DD. I'm hooked. For good. And such a believer already, I wish I could figure out how to share it with my best friend who's marriage has been falling apart. 

L saved us, by finding DD and this community on her own. I can't imagine this would ever have worked if I'd have found this and tried to talk her into it. What's meant to be will be though. I'm so looking forward to being a part of this, and hopefully contributing like you guys have for us. Apologies for the novel. :-).

 Till then, Fireman.