My fireman posted this as a comment on my Submission post, but I think it needed to be its own post :)
At the risk of totally hijacking my loves blog, I want to offer a perspective if I may. I came from a semi-old fashioned home. Both parents worked, and mom waited on my dad hand-and-foot as the saying goes. Dad was never demanding about it though, don't misinterpret. In retrospect, dad just was overly helpful/considerate in some ways I think. Very rarely do I ask L to do things for me. God knows the kids run her ragged all day. The way I feel about it, is that I have two legs and can get my lazy ass up and do whatever I need to. Dare I say it, but I feel a bit like an ass to have her do these trivial things. I don't EXPECT her to make my dinner plate. I've even gotten the angry eye for doing it myself. My "motive" if you will is to be "helpful", and no more a burden upon her than any other way that I'm likely oblivious to already.
The point I'm trying to make, whether it bares any similarity for any of you ladies, is that "submissiveness" MIGHT have more to do with us guys. I'm appreciative for everything my love does. I'm probably not helping her BE submissive because of the things I try to take care of on my own. So in trying to do the "good husband" things in my eyes, I'm likely impeding this feeling for her unknowingly. And I wonder if I'm not alone amongst other husbands. I actually had no idea that this happened for her at my family function. I DID notice that she seemed a little too excited/anxious to get me the pie, but the curiosity disappeared about as quickly as the slice on my plate. Obviously, I need to be more cognizant of these "little opportunities"? And surely this can go both ways, I mean, we do LIVE FOR one another, right? This could be just as difficult for me as it is for her!!! Lol.
I love that you said we live for one another :) it makes me melt. You have a good point. Maybe a lady's submissiveness can be helped more by her husband.
Maybe it's a great idea that Pocahontas had in this post. She wrote how they talked about what being submissive, and correspondingly dominant also, means to both of them and that it really helped their expectations. Maybe we need to do this too?
We also just talked via text about the statement he made about his mom waiting on his dad. That shocked me because she doesn't do it now. (She has even told me, why are you making his plate? He can make his own plate!) She doesn't as much anymore. But when we were kids, it was drastically different.
Elle & Fireman :)