Monday, January 14, 2013

Submission

Friday night, something tiny happened and I was proud of my fireman. Unless he noticed my eyebrows raise in pleasant surprise, I think he has no idea.  The tiny event may have not even registered on his radar, but it certainly did on mine. 

I've been working on the gift of submission. I think it was June (The Dish with Ward and June) who said submission is a gift, because you can't force it. (If it wasn't June and it was someone else, just let me know, lol!) June (& Ward too!!) were so sweet and emailed me suggestions to help with submission. 

I want to fully embrace this semi-new life we've taken on. I have written about struggling with submission, but they helped me realize it can be very simple. It can be as easy as fixing dinner and making his plate. Oddly enough, this is something I've always done. It makes me feel good to make his plate and hand it to him. It's been very rare in our life for me to have not done it. I feel very pleased that I've been doing it for so long. Maybe I can be submissive after all ;) 

In their last blog post, I think June said it perfectly. ".. Everything I do, every look that I give, every response that I utter is an opportunity to express my submission to his leadership."  So very true. 

I always want my fireman to know how much I trust him and that I'd do anything for him. I think he knows, but I want him to really know. I've tried to become aware of my actions. I try to not interrupt him (which I am bad to tend to do), I try to really listen to what he's saying, and do little, everyday things for him. 

We had a family function to attend on Friday night with his family. We sat closely, as we can't seem to stay away from each other. (Magnets!!!) when the pizzas arrived, I made the kids their plates and I turned to make his. He had mine all ready :) So sweet when I know he's thinking about me. 

A little while later, there was cake. A few of the other guests got themselves pieces and it happened..... 

Will you get me a piece of cake please? My eyebrows raised slightly and I smiled. Sure :) 

I was so proud of him for actually asking me to do something for him!! It was a very small gesture, but it meant a lot to me. You have to start somewhere ;) 



22 comments:

  1. *grins* my moment was a piece of pie :) And the request was warm and delicious and ran a wave of pleasure through my body. I'm glad I'm not the only one who goes all girl goo over simple things. It is most intoxicating.

    Thank you for your most kind words, elle. We're just us, but we feel what we have is extraordinary in the context of the rest of our personal experiences. I'm so glad you are finding your extraordinary moments to weave into your extraordinary love. There is nothing in this world finer or more beautiful.

    (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks June! It was very intoxicating :)

      Delete
  2. the small things can be the most important! You are getting there. Understanding submission is the first step and I think the hardest one we have to take.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is such a great thing isn't it? The little things that mean a lot.

    We don't believe in electric blankets, and sometimes when it is very cold, like at the moment, the underfloor heating in the barn struggles. And I make an old fashioned hot water bottle and put it in Starman's side of the bed. Works every time.... Just saying....

    Hugs, Ami

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I couldn't last without my blanket! We put it under the bottom sheet. I guess it's more like a heated mattress pad. Lol.

      That is very sweet though! :)

      Delete
  4. We have done this for a long time at functions. Now Ian doesn't ask, he just expects me to bring it to him, and I do. He always smiles and accepts it quite graciously, and I enjoy the looks that he gets from the other men.
    I often think, "if you only knew how much I do for him....." lol and of course the things he does for me.... :D
    hugs
    lillie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have to say I enjoy the satisfaction of knowing my man has it WAY better than some of his friends. :)

      Delete
  5. It makes me happy when I find that I am doing things for my husband without thinking about it. He is so good at taking care of me that I want to do the same. Unfortunately (or fortunately) the only he asks me to do for him involves oral skills.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, I get requests like that sometimes too ;)

      Delete
  6. Wonderful baby steps! It feels good, doesn't it? :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. That is a nice place to start! Cael will do similar things -- ask me to please find his coat for him, etc. It's not to say he wouldn't do the same for me, but the fact that he asks me to do it for him is meaningful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree. While I don't want to do every single little thing, I want to do sweet little things for him :)

      Delete
  8. This is lovely Elle, it really is the little things isn't it? I love doing the little things for him and even more if he asks ... makes me all squiffy inside lol

    When at functions it's quite often the other way around, he will do things for me ... cos he's afraid I'll get trampled lol. As Lillie said, I love the looks we get and comments like "oh Rick, you're such a gentleman", "you are lucky Roz" ... ahhh, that I am - sigh!

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, I love that it goes both ways!! :)

      Delete
  9. At the risk of totally hijacking my loves blog, I want to offer a perspective if I may. I came from a semi-old fashioned home. Both parents worked, and mom waited on my dad hand-and-foot as the saying goes. Dad was never demanding about it though, don't misinterpret. In retrospect, dad just was overly helpful/considerate in some ways I think. Very rarely do I ask L to do things for me. God knows the kids run her ragged all day. The way I feel about it, is that I have two legs and can get my lazy ass up and do whatever I need to. Dare I say it, but I feel a bit like an ass to have her do these trivial things. I don't EXPECT her to make my dinner plate. I've even gotten the angry eye for doing it myself. My "motive" if you will is to be "helpful", and no more a burden upon her than any other way that I'm likely oblivious to already.

    The point I'm trying to make, whether it bares any similarity for any of you ladies, is that "submissiveness" MIGHT have more to do with us guys. I'm appreciative for everything my love does. I'm probably not helping her BE submissive because of the things I try to take care of on my own. So in trying to do the "good husband" things in my eyes, I'm likely impeding this feeling for her unknowingly. And I wonder if I'm not alone amongst other husbands. I actually had no idea that this happened for her at my family function. I DID notice that she seemed a little too excited/anxious to get me the pie, but the curiosity disappeared about as quickly as the slice on my plate. Obviously, I need to be more cognizant of these "little opportunities"? And surely this can go both ways, I mean, we do LIVE FOR one another, right? This could be just as difficult for me as it is for her!!! Lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fireman, my husband is considerate and giving. He is just as likely to fix my plate as I am to fix his. It does not hinder my submissiveness but rather, it makes me want to work harder to be a better wife for him. The more he does, the more I do. I think they go hand in hand.

      Marriage takes work. Two people giving 100% each! Not 50/50. So yes, Fireman, it does work both ways! :)

      Delete
    2. Ps Fireman, I love to hear from men in blog land. After all, there are two sides to every story.

      Delete
    3. I'm with Rose, Fireman. Ward is just as likely to get me a drink, or fix something for me, take the dishes out of my hand and tell me to sit down, take the boys out & send me up to take a soak - reciprocity and balance.

      Yes, as much as my submission feeds his Dominance, his Dominance feeds my submission...oh boy and how! As much as he enjoys spontaneous shows of submission, I ...thrill... when he does those things, those texts from work when he knows I'm stressing "This is what I want you to do...", or the request to get him the pie...it is a chance to feel that comfort and security of being under his hand. There is this delicious turning inside, I feel things melt away, and feel the softness and his control.

      Daddy said the same thing... he sees my face, and my voice changes when he does these things. It's amazing and delicious!

      Delete