Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A very unexpected turn of events.. 1

I didn't realize this would end up so long...  

Part One:

We didn't have quite the New Year's Eve I had envisioned. Originally, I had wanted to just stay home together. #1 has school tomorrow, I knew it would be hard if we went anywhere, I was tired from the night before already, traveling to and from the football game, not getting enough sleep over the weekend. I just wanted to stay home. 

We had been invited a couple places. Typically we go to someone on my family's house, very kid friendly, but being kid friendly it's also very loud. The majority of my family treat their children differently than we do ours. They love their kids of course, but they let them run wild. I expect my children to behave when we are somewhere, even as young as they are, they're really very good kids. (I know, I'm slightly biased, but really. They are!)  I just didn't want to deal with all of the kids arguing every 5 minutes and it being so loud you couldn't hear yourself think. 

A fireman friend of my fireman's invited us to his house. We had hung out with them a few times before, there weren't going to be a lot of people, but their daughter is a little older than our oldest and she's very sweet. My fireman asked if I care to go there and I said that was fine with me. I felt guilty about staying home and not letting my girls play with other kids somewhere. 

We arrived at the party around 8:30 and it was in full swing. There were a few single guys from the department and four other couples. The kids were all playing rock band in the basement, the adults hanging out upstairs. Immediately I noticed the host's wife was in a bad mood, self-consciously I felt like it was me. I don't know her super well, but you know when you're in an uncomfortable situation where you don't know many people and you just feel out of place? Yeah, I completely did. 

I stayed calm though. I wanted to be supportive to my husband, he wanted to be there and hang out. I tried to not go all introverted like I can. Things turned around and we had a lot of fun. We split up into teams and played this hilarious game, something like The Game of Things, I think it was called. 

However, it kept being interrupted for smoke breaks. My fireman included. He used to smoke regularly before we were married. I asked for that to be my wedding present, for him to quit. He smokes socially now, I'm okay with it. But he kept leaving me. I didn't know all of the people that stayed in and how many times can you small talk about the same things!? I had the baby upstairs with me, but he only provided minimal conversation, too.  Still, I was trying. 

Around 10:50 the game ended. They went outside again. At 11:15 he came back in. I lost it. For 20 minutes I was alone. Most everyone went downstairs to play rock band. A few stayed back upstairs. I went to the kitchen to try to talk to some of the ladies that stayed up, included the wife, but she was still sour. (She had even stayed in the other room while the game was happening!) I didn't fit in. I went back and sat on the chair alone with the baby. People filtered in, but I still didn't know many of them. 

He came in, sat next to me, and said What? What's wrong? I couldn't hide it. I even semi tried. I tried talking myself out of being upset that he left me alone for 20 minutes at this party that I didn't want to go to in the first place. You just left me here! For 20 minutes! I quietly whispered to him. I'm sorry. I thought you would've went in and talked to everyone else. Well, I tried and it didn't work. 

We watched ABC's New Year's Eve coverage. It was getting better. My girls were in the room, #2 sitting with me, my fireman beside us holding the baby, #1 playing on an iPod near us. I was hopeful the mood would turn. 

Countdown! 10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1. Every one said Happy New Year! And I looked to my fireman, who looked around and kissed the baby. 

I waited. Nothing. 

Nothing. Really? I hugged #2 and smiled at #1 to keep from sobbing uncontrollably. 

Still nothing. The baby was past ready for bed. I was past ready for bed. I didn't say anything to him. I instructed the girls to find their shoes and get them on. We were leaving immediately. We were in the car by 12:15 and on the way home. 



  1. I totally understand - and I don't know how you did it! Being at a stranger's hour on New Year's eve, with small kids until after midnight is almost inhuman. (we learn from our mistakes - right?)
    It's easier to be with family because you know each other so well.
    It might make it easier if you invite them to your house - then you're home and in your element. Make sure you have lots of games or films for the kids and have a good time.
    I totally understand your frustration.
    Hope things look up for you!
    Jack's Jill

  2. OH! I would be steamed... I'm sorry your New Years turned out like that. I hope part two is somewhat better?

  3. The kids had been staying up really late since it was Christmas break, but it was still late.

    Unfortunately, things do not go up from here =\

  4. I'm so sorry your New Years Eve didn't turn out well. It's hard when you don't know your hosts well and your not made to feel comfortable or welcome. I hope the rest of your New Years is better.
    Mrs. D

  5. Oh Elle. I understand completely. I've had so many similar experiences over time- with the unaware husband. That would have upset me too, the no kiss at midnight, even before ttwd.

    I hope, that even though you said part two doesn't get any better for you, that things are better now.

    Love Willie

  6. Oh Elle, I would of been absolutely livid! You did well holding it together before you left.

    Hugs, going on to read part two now..oh I so hope it got better

  7. I think actually Elle we have all been there at some time or other during our married lives. At other parties as well as at New Year's. I have to admit that Starman isn't very demonstrative in the kissing department when in public. I can recall once in my thirties being snogged so hard by a twenty something man that I thought I'd get sucked down his throat! And where was my husband? You've guessed - no where in sight! (I found him later at the bar!)

    We now circulate around friends' houses and can barely keep our eyes open till midnight. Such is life.

    This year for the first time ever, I got up and went across to Starman as soon as midnight had chimed. He was sitting and I bent down and kissed him instead of waiting for something that was probably not going to happen. After a split second of surprise, he fervently returned my kiss and gave me a hug into the bargain.

    So, some advice from an ole girl? Gather your brood, march over to Fireman, and give him a group hug. Tell him you're feeling left out and that you need a great big kiss to warm you up. I think he may, like Starman act a little surprised initially, but I'll be willing to bet his heart will swell for you all.

    Lots of hugs honey, Ami

  8. Thanks all! I'm getting through all the comments now, hopefully my phone won't die by part 3!!