Monday, January 21, 2013

not what I want to write...

This is not what I want to write, at all.  I want to tell you all about my wonderful birthday weekend, great birthday-eve date that fireman and I got to spend together.  There's a lot to write about.. instead I have a big, BIG request. 

If you're the kind of person that prays, please say a little prayer for me.  If not, I do understand. Just send me some good thoughts, if you don't mind.  

Two or three days ago, my underarm started hurting just slightly.  It was a weird feeling, I thought maybe I'd just pulled a muscle.  Now, it's really, really hurting.  I checked out WebMD and nothing it says is good.  

Fireman wants to take me to get checked out tonight, he knows I'll do nothing but worry until we find something out.  I'm really, really worried.  

It's been a day of epic panic attacks.  The baby has to have surgery soon, to get his tonsils removed (they're awful!!) and we just saw a specialist today that wants to remove them.  I don't have a set day for it yet, but I was already stressing about it. 

Now this.  It hurts to sit in this position to type out this message, but it would make me feel better to have you guys in the loop and have your thoughts and prayers.  

I'm scared that I won't come back home.  I'm scared for my girls and the baby.  I am just really scared.  

This is not me.  I'm usually much stronger than this, but sitting here alone googling, the kids are all in bed.. and I'm just worried.  Fireman is at the station for training, but he should be home anytime and we're going to go to the emergency room.  

I will keep you posted.  And all of your posts are really helping me not think about things that I shouldn't. 



  1. Elle! Hang in there! I'm sending thoughts and prayers for you. Let us know what's going on when you can.

  2. Ohhhh Elle,
    Big prayers being said for you & your whole family. Please keep us posted!
    Big hugs!!! Catrinka

  3. Kind of a personal question, but are you nursing? It could be something as simple as mastitis. Not that it's really simple because it hurts like hell, but antibiotics will take care of it. Feel free to email me.

  4. Elle, don't panic. Webmd and google don't have all the answers and frankly there is a lot of misinformation out there. This could simply be an infected sebaceous cyst or something else just as benign. By all means get it checked out, there is no substitution for a thorough exam and that is the only way to correctly diagnose and treat the problem. Sending prayers and good thoughts for you and your little one.
    Mrs. D

  5. I hope you find the calm you need in the answers from the doctors at the ER.

    Sending a prayer out for you.


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  7. (((((Elle)))) I'm thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. I hope it all works out, stay strong.

  8. Thank you all so so so so so much! It worked! I am okay! They think I just did something to it, they did X-rays and couldn't see anything abnormal.

    I was so nervous. I'm not even going to read this post again ever, just comments if I need to. That was such a scary place.

    Fireman and I just got home. He finally got some dinner, love his wonderful heart, and we are heading to bed. I will post about my great weekend tomorrow!

    Thank you all again! It means so much!

  9. sending a prayer up and some positive thoughts over.

    i know telling you to be calm is silly, cos you would if you could... so all i'll say is... go make yourself some tea, read more blogs, and get lots of sleep.

  10. Happy belated Birthday!! Sorry about your scare and glad everything is okay. From a nurse, Google can be your worst enemy!!!

  11. Elle, I'm sorry I was late to this. I've just seen your comment and am so happy and relieved for you. I understand what a scary place it is. I had what turned out to be a benign lump removed some years ago.

    Huge (((Hugs)))

  12. Oh Elle Hun
    I'm so sorry you went through this. Sorry I couldn't get online earlier to wish you luck.
    Glad everything worked out and there is nothing to worry about.
    Can't wait to read about you birthday weekend.
    Love and hugs x

  13. Very happy to hear you're feeling better.
    The power of prayer is immense!

  14. Oh Elle...I'm so glad that you are okay. I've had that happen too and wish I'd read this before so I could have told you about it. I just pulled something really wrong with no memory of doing it and it hurt so much. I also looked it up online and what I read led me to believe that the world was ending. Rest, Advil...and some love from your Fireman and you'll be all fixed up!

  15. Thanks all!!!

    Yes, the power of prayer. I'm convinced always!

    I sooooo know better than to google, I really do. Learned that when I was having baby #1, but somehow I still did it. Rookie mistake! Lol!

    Thank you again so much!

  16. Whew! So glad they didnt find anything! I hope you feel better soon!

  17. Glad to hear you are ok!
    Google is awful!
    When I was pregnant with the twins I had a few things happen and my Dr even TOLD me DO not google it... It's ok and we are watching it... Wellllll... guess what I did?

    I googled it and became a wreck! I'm pretty sure "H" was awfully angry that I did it.

    Ugh! Google!!!

  18. Elle, I am sorry I did not see your post before now! I said a little prayer as I was reading, but now I see the comment that all is OK! So glad others read your post and you heard from so many. Hugs and take care today.

  19. elle - Do you use google +? There are a lot of us who sometimes chat there - feel free to email me!

  20. Sorry I didn't see this earlier! I hate that you had to go through that and I hope you're feeling better. Take it easy! (Like you could do that with 3 kids, but try anyway!)

  21. I'm sorry that I didn't read this earlier, so I could have sent some encouragement to you. I'm glad that it wasn't anything serious. Being a nurse, and knowing that most breast lumps or questional mamograms end up being fine and benign, it still scared me to death when the doctor wanted to do a biopsy. I went home crying and called my mom. Everything was fine, but even that little tiny bit of a chance can be so scary. God has proven Himself to me over and over and over again, yet my first response is almost always fear. I'm so happy for you. May God continue to bless you and your family, Belle L.

  22. Sorry I somehow didn't see this sooner Elle, but I'm glad that you're okay! (((hugs)))

  23. I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner, but I'm so glad that everything is OK. It is so easy to let our minds jump to the worst possible outcome, why do we do that to ourselves?