Mostly fixed..... :)

FM- I know you'll like this one, lol :)

I'm needy.  I know it, he knows it.  It's not brand new information, lol :)   

I think when things spiral down, I shut it down.  If it's been more than a week since we've had sex, I start to not really care if it happens.  The more it happens, the more I want it.  (Anyone else?) 

Point is, that's exactly what happened.  

The good news is, we didn't have a big blowout like we would've in the past.  I really do think ttwd is the reason.  Years ago, maybe even last year at this time (even though we were somewhat actively participating in the ttwd club) we would've had a big blowout where we wouldn't speak for a couple days, it would be tense and uncomfortable until one of us broke the ice.  

But not this time.   Yes, he was mad.  I was annoyed, but no big bomb went off that stopped our lives for days.  Growth! lol :) 

I need the attention.  I think that's why ttwd works for us.  I get the undivided attention that I crave.... but only sometimes.  We have GOT to work on that, too.  I'm not even sure when the last time was that we had any spanking time! That's not okay for two closet spankos.  He needs it as much as I do.  

Lately, I've noticed he doesn't have that little look in his eye- I think you guys know the one.  He doesn't feel it.  He needs to feel it.  I want and need him to feel it :)

Maybe that was the problem.  It wasn't just that he hadn't gotten any, he lost that feeling.  

Last night, we had a little reconnection.  He wanted to have some maintenance, which I am sure I needed, but just didn't have it in me to do it.  ---- I swear, this is exactly why it needs to happen more often! It's just like sexy time.  The more it happens, the more I want it. --- Anyway, we did have some good reconnecting.  Even though I got to bed a little later than I wanted, it was worth it.  I sent him a true and racy text right as I was falling asleep.  I never even heard his reply, though I'm sure it was almost instantaneous.  


We are going to talk about it today.  We have to communicate better and more, even if he thinks I'm not going to like what he has to say.  He has to get over it and say what he feels.  I want to know.  He has to feel important to me, because there's nothing more important.  

I definitely think we need more of ttwd.... I don't want to run it into the ground, but I do really think it needs a larger presence in our life.  We both need to feel that feeling and ride that high more often :) 

Hope you all have a great day!!
Xo, 
Elle