We had just had a really good maintenance session on Monday. Felt so great and connected after. It had been about a week or so since the last spanking, we had a really busy week last week (and I was good! Woohoo!!). I always feel better after maintenance and we had just talked about how we were going to incorporate more of it into ttwd. I was definitely relishing in that closer feeling that I wrote about last time :)
And then it happened. That little brat came out. She got aggravated because her children know nothing about the word "hurry" and don't have any intentions of actually moving quicker than normal when running late. Hubz was a few minutes later than normal getting home from work and #2 had a class that we had to be at 15 minutes later. The day was stressful and chaotic, but it was still no excuse. I hate that little brat and hate when she creeps up inside me.
I have a temper. I know, you're thinking nice, funny, beautiful, sweet Elle? Really?? (Lol, ok maybe you weren't thinking exactly that. But it's my imagination, so we are going with it, lol).
It wasn't enough for the little brat inside me to ask him
But it wasn't enough. After I got #2 to actually move and get out the door, then back in because she didn't get a jacket, then back out one more time and in the car, I called him. I know. Horrible idea. I should've just let it go.
But no. That wasn't enough. I was mean. I told him he didn't care about their activities because he was only concerned about money. Then he said it. We will discuss this later.
Maybe it's because this is new to us? I should've just shut up right then. I did know what it meant. I knew that I should've just said I need to get off the phone and politely ended the conversation that never should've occurred in the first place.
Ohhh, but no. I continued on. I am the only one who takes them to everything. Yap yap yap yap. I could hear him getting a twitchy palm, I swear.
Then I pulled into the parking lot. I said I have to go. I'm getting off the phone. Hubz said ok... And then.... *warning* do not do this ever.... I hung up! Omg. I walked into the class and I knew. I just knew that it was wrong and that I'd definitely be paying for it later. But the little brat was mad and she wasn't listening to me.
Came out to a text. I thought we were past this disrespect. I guess I was wrong. Crap!
Got home, had more to do. #1 had to be at a quick dinner and pick up her presents from an activity she was in at the beginning of the school year. Came back home, hubz still at meeting, I got the stuff ready for the next day, kids all in bed, sat down and watched something mindless on tv.
He came home not too long after and we talked. He did say I owed him. Yep, I know. I am really sorry. I swear.
So, of course, I paid my debt. Definitely no talking my way out of it this time. I didn't count, I just focused on how I was completely wrong in letting the little brat have her way. I didn't cry, but I was close. Not because it hurt, just because I really did feel awful about it.
Which reminds me.. I need to talk to him about that. That's another favorite about ttwd. Communication is amazing. We can talk about any and everything. And we do.
He hugged me in the way that only he can, my hubz is the best hugger. You automatically know you're loved when he hugs. It's always been that way. I think he was made for this lifestyle.
And we are all better :)