Monday, May 13, 2013

Reinstating ttwd :)

I've been trying to write this post for a couple days, actually. We've been busy, of course. I even tried updating from my phone one night, but that didn't work out very well. 

We are planning a mini-vacation, if you even want to call it that, with the kids to a water park. We've never been to this specific place and I'm so excited. I went shopping on Saturday and purchased a new swimsuit, along with a few things for the kids. I have to try it on for FM though.. I'm afraid the ladies are on display a little too much. I did send him a picture from the dressing room and he said they looked great and to buy it, but we all know pictures are slightly different than real life, lol. 

After my last blog post, we had a great talk. We texted and we even talked face-to-face that evening. Fireman wasn't really wanting to talk f2f, but we did anyway. It's not just me that thinks its easier to talk via text! Lol :) 

He told me the way he feels about different things and instead of just it go until it happened again for me to get mad about, I told him things too. He wants to bring back me counting (yuck!). He says it makes him feel more connected instead of me just being there, saying ow? nothing. I tried to complain , but he just got all HoH~y, which was actually nice to see. 

He also said he was embarrassed for taking back consent in a backwards way.  He though I made an excellent point by saying not following through and just letting everything happen, not actively participating was essentially the same as me taking back consent. He knew how it made him feel when I did that and he apologized for making me feel that way. 

Also, he's making a very conscious effort to include me. He explained that he does try to shield me from some things and he doesn't want to make me worry more or "make me quit." I swore that I would never. I'm not as sheltered as he might think. I told him I'm perfectly aware of things. One of our favorite shows is Chicago Fire, we watch it together every week. I've seen movies and read things. Plus, I can definitely piece together snippets of conversation with the things his departments train for. I might be blonde... But definitely not dumb ;) 

He's not the only one trying, too. I'm trying to let him come home. You know what I mean? At the end of the day, he's been at work too. So many of you made that excellent point on my last post. He does love his job, but he needs to come home too. The extra child I watch during the week is only going to be here a short while longer and then she's heading off to daycare. I'll definitely miss the extra money, even though it wasn't much, but I'll have so much more sanity at the end of the day. I think that will help us, too. I won't be on edge constantly and wait for him to come home and help. 

We have had maintenance since we've reinstated ttwd. I think this time is it. It feels different almost. :) 

Happy belated Mother's Day! 


  1. I'm happy for you, glad things seem to be working out :)

  2. Sounds great Elle! You've communicated and have a plan in place to get back on track. No one ever said it was easy, but it's so worthwhile! ;) (((hugs)))

  3. I'm glad you are finding your way back to each other, elle. F2f is hard, talking is hard, but oh so essential.

    You're in our thoughts and prayers.


  4. I'm so glad things are back on an even keel Elle. Just take it slow and enjoy yourselves. Your trip to the water park sounds wonderful. Have a great time!



  5. Aw, yayy! So glad things are back to where you want them to be! Talking can be hard, but it seems like it worked. :) I love the picture you added about starting over meaning you can reset and get it right.

    Have fun at the water park! :)

  6. Hey happy that you and your Fireman are finding you way back...slow and easy and plenty of communication...I have faith that you two will make it!

    Sending lots of positive energy your way.


  7. Face to Face is hard. It gets a 'little' easier after a while, but still is difficult. That being said, if you need to text, email, write, it is better than no communication at all.

    I'm happy you are finding solutions that work for you. This is incredibly difficult stuff ttwd. Not for the weak.

    hugs, willie

  8. Elle, I'm so happy to hear that you and Fireman and finding your way back together and getting back on track. Keep the communication going in whichever way works best for you. Face to face isn't easy.


  9. Elle I'm so glad to read this post. You sound much happier.

    Starting over is good, you just both need to keep the things in mind that made things go wrong last time and try to avoid them this time round. This is how we are coping with things. Also don't forget to have fun with it, also so important :)

    I'm happy for you guys, don't give up, you'll get there x

  10. F2F can be hard, but sometimes the only way to communicate effectively. I'm glad the two of you are in a better place, Have fun at the water park, although you might need your own mini vacation afterwards.

  11. OH Elle, you sound so much more happy! :) I am so happy for you. {{{HUGS}}} You know, resets can be good. Stepping away to see what was working and what wasn't. I really hope you're able to find the groove that is best for the two of you. :)

  12. You two sound SO much better!