We had a good week last week, the beginning was VERY spicy!!!!!!!!!! Lets just say there was a maintenance session mixed in with Fireman putting some of his knot-tying skills to use. (This was a good picture I found, but backwards.....) I found that having my hands bound was like switching the 'submissive' button to the on position immediately. I don't know why exactly, but it was. Fireman said it was "hotttttttt." Lol ;)
Then... A dry spell. There were a few days where we were just too busy. Complete disconnect. It messes with my self-esteem and everything. I hate when we have so much going on, there's no us time. We need a date night, but it's so hard to get a sitter and I won't just leave them with anyone. He likes to stay home, I like to go do something. Dis.con.ect.
We had maintenance last night. I was not in the mood for it at all, but I agreed without argument. (Yay! Progress for Elle, lol!!). I tried to let it sink in.. But it really didn't. I dunno. He really doesn't talk during a spanking. There's no lecture hardly, even in punishment, though punishment is rare ;) I think if he were reminding me of who is in charge or something it would work better.. But he doesn't get it. Anyone else?
We are still close. Still getting along.. Though I might be annoyed more than usual at things he does. But I'm mostly respectful, I think is the right word to use. I refuse to go back to the way it used to be, which I'm sure was entirely disrespectful of him.
I keep losing focus on writing.....
Hope you guys have a great Monday!
Xo,
Elle
Purchase Here and $15 go to the families of the 19 brave firemen who were killed in the Yarnell wildfire.
Hi, elle. I get the not feeling it. My words won't come the way I need them to for Bas and Lisa. Great news about Emily, though!
ReplyDeleteI'm no help about the rest. Sorry. All I can think of is explain it to him, why you need his words, why you feel [cold, numb, bored, lost?] without his words.
I hope he gets it soon, so that part gets better soon. I'm glad you seem to be doing well overall. Hugs!
Irishey
Thanks Irishey!
DeleteHi Elle,
ReplyDeleteSounds like a wonderful start to the week :) I think we all need to take a step back from blogging from time to time.
I'm sorry for the disconnect and hope you manage to get some time together to reconnect. I know what you mean about needing to hear the words during a spanking. I do too. It does make a difference.
((Hugs))
Roz
It does. It makes a big difference. I hope so too, thanks!
DeleteYes, I so get it! I often need him to talk to me, to tell me exactly why we are doing this and what he is trying to communicate. It's hard for mine too--he's not a natural talker during a spanking. He does well before and after though. Maybe fireman could try that...so you go into it knowing what it is about.
ReplyDeleteI will suggest it!i think he thinks thoughts, but has a hard time verbalizing.
DeleteIs it just during a spanking that u need to hear it?
ReplyDeleteBIKSS tells me all the time in little remarks how I am being good, or what he appreciates. Positive reinforcement i suppose, and reminds me often via questions that i'm his and various bits of me belong to him etc. (whose ass is this then?)
That helps with maintaining our connection... Im word-driven. He's not. So i too acknowledge the effort he puts in to verbalise all this stuff. N i thank him for it, which then reinforces it positively for him. Its a good cycle.
And its clear HE's in charge of me!
We are the same. I'm word drive, I'm not sure he is at all. Definitely not like I am.
DeleteI don't think it's just during a spanking, but I think most importantly it is then.
** driven.
Delete