Saturday, January 19, 2013

Looking up..

 Tomorrow I will be a whole year older. I actually have no problem with getting older, I know it's a privilege that many don't see. My problem is looking older, lol. My mother looks amazing for her age. She will be 50 soon, but doesn't look it. People honestly think we are sisters sometimes. I've always told her I hope I age as gracefully as she has. 

My fireman has always looked young also. He's going to age in that dignified manner, I just know it. He's always been so irresistible to me. I was looking at older pictures recently and even then, he made my heart flutter. Looking at those pictures reminds me easily. 

It still happens now. I will look at him, his eyes, his shoulders, his hands, his mouth.... I could go on and on. Just one glimpse of him has almost the same reaction as him calling me a "good girl."  I could stare at him forever. :) 

Thursday and Friday of this week were downers. Even after I posted my edit to the last page, my mood crept back up. A comment he made.. as purely fact, I mistook and that escalated into a small argument. He told me sternly to go to bed. I sat on the couch for a minute longer.. I really didn't want our evening to go that way, but it already was. It was getting a little past my bedtime, so I waited momentarily, then got up and went to bed. 

I really expected him to come in, tell me to remove my panties, and climb up on the bed. I knew I deserved it. I knew I had been disrespectful by not listening to him explain, I had been moody all day. Instead, I laid there watching a rerun on the DVR and fell asleep. 

It carried over. Ugh. Yesterday I was crummy. We texted, argued a little. I got a little mouthy. I knew if he found the opportunity, I would be in for a punishment yesterday evening. He was slightly late getting home from work, I had somewhere to be at 6, then the girls were having a mini-sleepover. 

He did tell me that he intended to cool-down and come in after I went to bed Thursday night. But, by the time that happened, I was asleep. I was am thankful he swears to never spank when angry. I know mad is bound to happen, but when he's really angry, he swears he won't do it. 

They were up late, we cuddled on the couch and watched the end to a movie we'd started last weekend but never finished. Then we finally went to bed. I was a little surprised when he didn't give me the spanking instructions, but I think he probably didn't think it was the right time with company being in the house. 

At some point today, I know I'll receive it. I'm going to try to not pout or get out of it. I don't want to make excuses as to why he should let me off the hook. I don't want to question him and ask why he wants me to come in our bedroom. I need the reset, the reaffirmation, the reminder. I need the connection and probably the release, too. 

I'm sure I'll let you know how it goes. 



  1. oh i hope you get your reset soon. i know how it feels so awful when you need a spanking and can't get one in a timely fashion.

    also, happy birthday! another january baby!!

    1. Thanks Fondles! It's a good month to have a birthday! :)

      Ugh, it is. I did get maintenance last night! Feel a little better!!

  2. Happy Birthday tomorrow!
    I'm sure fireman won't forget, but when he does (all men are very good at forgetting mischief of their wives, otherwise the poor men would have no life. Think of it as a natural defence mechanism) , it's OK to ask for the reset.

    1. Thanks Bas!

      We talked about that, too. I am to ask when I need it! :)

  3. Happy Birthday! I hope your birthday will be better than the last couple of days. Hopefully a reset spanking will help- amazing how a spanking can be such a stress reliever.

    1. It definitely was! This weekend has been great!
      Thank you!!

  4. These resets are so important sweetie. I look forward to mine so much - strangely every bit of them. I can't fathom whether it's the ritual of the actuality. I just love the closeness the communication, even the spanking itself, although it's the aftermath that's the best of all!

    I wish you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY for tomorrow! And many more of them!

    Lots of hugs, Ami

    1. Thank you!
      I look forward to them too. Don't tell fireman, haha ;)

  5. Happy birthday!

    Steve won't spank if he's angry either, whether he's angry at me or angry about something else. We hit a rough patch a while back and I was constantly doing something to land myself in trouble. Of course this happened in the middle of him being majorly stressed and extremely angry about another situation he was dealing with. I ended up getting a reprieve that week because he said as much anger as he was feeling, he didn't want to risk scaring me or ruining everything we've built with DD.

    1. Thanks Dana!

      Exactly. That's what I want to avoid. He said he knows we will both have bad days, but he will always try to have a clear head when it comes to spanking.

  6. Happy Birthday sweet Elle!
    I loved the way you described the sensations you feel when thinking about your Fireman! I hope that those feelings stay with you always.
    We all have "off" days, weeks...heck, I think I've had off seasons. The good news is that this too will pass.
    While we can be pretty certain that the moody, mouthy moments will return, we can hope that in time we'll learn better ways to cope. If all else fails, I'm sureFireman will gladly lend a hand. Sorry, that pun was just too easy. ;-)
    Have a fabulous day tomorrow and for now don't worry about aging, enjoy living!
    Hugs, Catrinka

    1. Thank you Catrinka!

      Me too! I know they will. They've been growing for ten years and just get stronger each year!! (Almost 10, anyway!)

      Lol, I'm sure he will lend a hand lol ;)

  7. Happy Birthday, Sweetie,
    Ian has spanked when angry and it took both of us a long time to get over it, to rebuild trust - as much for him as me...
    Good luck, sweetie....

  8. Hi Elle, Happy Birthday for tomorrow!

    I'm sorry you've had a couple of rough days. We all have our off days but they do pass. I hope you get that reset and connection and that you have a wonderful day tomorrow.


  9. Happy Birthday Elle!
    I hope you get a "FUN" birthday spanking!

    1. Thanks Emma!!
      I haven't yet, but there's still plenty of time in the day! ;)

  10. Happy Birthday Elle! I hope you are having a great day and birthday. Blessings today and in the year to come:)

  11. Happy belated birthday Elle! I hope you are doing okay.

    1. Thanks Susie! You're actually right on time, no belated necessary! :)

  12. Elle,

    Happy belated birthday. Hope you had a wonderful day.