Thursday, January 10, 2013

Maintenance and Bedtimes...

I feel like I haven't seen my fireman in forever. Monday was sickness, Tuesday he had a fire-related meeting, then last night was an activity for our girls, a quick break, then an exercise class for me. I want need a Saturday! 

I have a new bedtime rule. He wants me to wake up with him in the morning and try to get on a better schedule. It was mostly my fault that #1's morning was rushed and hectic. I wasn't getting her up early enough, not giving the two of us enough time to get ready for her to make the bus. I do not like arguing in the morning before she leaves (or arguing at all, really). 

It's not that much earlier for me to get up, maybe an hour, but it makes the difference in seeing him and that was enough of a reason for me. I was staying up later than I needed to before, but now it's much better. 

Except last night. We finally got the kids in bed around 8:45, my class was from 7-8, so by the time I got home I didn't have a lot of time. He pushed bedtime back to 10, we watched a little tv from Monday (thank God for DVR!), and got a shower together. It was after 10, but he let it slide. I am not sure what time I actually fell asleep, I'm sure it was before 11. I had asked if I could watch a little tv and he knows I hate not having the tv on when I go to bed!! 

Now, this morning I woke up late, only enough time for a long hug. I'm so tired right now... And I'm sad that I didn't get to see him more this morning. I texted him: I'm so tired. I'm sorry baby. 9:30 back in action. Lol. Lol okay man. 9:30 it is

Do you guys have any rules you thought you'd not like at first, but now appreciate?? 
On a positive note, I haven't been in trouble since last Wednesday!!! Whoo! I should get a party or something! (Speaking of... My birthday is coming up! Lol)

I really think maintenance has helped a lot with that. He has not done daily, I think he thinks it might get mundane if he would do it every single day. I don't know, he'll have to give his opinion on that. It has been happening just about every other night. 

Let me think..... Punishment Wednesday, maintenance Thursday (which he could've said was just the second part of Wednesday's punishment.. I deserved it), Saturday, but I can't remember Sunday! I think maybe, oops. I don't know for sure!! Tuesday was maintenance also, but none last night. 

Once it was funny. I tried to keep my pants. No. Then panties. No. (But i swear, I do that every time...) I laid across our bed and presented my bottom to him. He was quiet, I'm not entirely sure what he was doing if he was just making me be patient and wait, if he was checking out my behind. I couldn't take the silence and I knew the smack was coming, but I needed to say something! anything! Wait a minute, what's this for? Did you get a lecture? No. Okay, then if you don't get a lecture, it's just maintenance. Okay, got it. Works for me! *smack* pause... What's our procedure? Our procedure? Yes, what are you supposed to do? Counting, my brain thought. Oh, um one... 

Tuesday, he surprised me. I was not expecting maintenance. I had gotten everything ready for the next morning with his help, too. It was just before 9:20 and I was checking my phone before I went to our room. I walked in, he was standing by the bed with his favorite only? Implements on the end of the bed. 

I guess I'll have to see for tonight. I kind of like the every-other-daily maintenance. It makes me feel super connected and roles are definitely reaffirmed. 

I am loving our renewed life with ttwd. I don't think we've ever felt so close or together in anything. :)



  1. Hmmm. Rules I don't like. It isn't really a rule, just something Dragon asked me to do. Get up every morning and make his breakfast. While he is eating I pack his lunch. I thought I would hate it but I find comfort in the routine. It is our time without interruptions. No kids, no pets. just us.

    1. I like how you say it's just something he asked you to do. I suppose you could say that's what happened here, I guess I just gave it the title of "rule." You're right I love the routine and our time, whenever it happens :)

  2. We do maintenance/RA/reconnects very often too elle (okay - every day). It does help, for connection and stress and trust and communication (cuts down on correction, too). The effects are quite amazing :) Happy you have found your stride.


  3. Aw so sweet you two are enjoying a renewed life that is great! Bedtimes aren't fun but I see your point about them sometimes being necessary. To answer your question, sometimes he gives me tasks and I do not want to do them but I'm always happy in the end because they make me feel closer to him when we are apart.

  4. Blech...I hate maintenance, but it works. Rules, we started out with just a few and it seems like the list keeps being amended.
    It sounds like, despite a busy schedule you and your Fireman make time for each other - and that is a wonderful thing.

    1. Yes! it is a very busy life, but I wouldn't trade it :)
      thanks lillie :)

  5. Every other day maintenance, huh? I'm not sure I'd be a fan, but then we wouldn't be able to do that anyway, at least not regularly because of Michael's schedule. As for rules that I didn't like at first and then found helpful...well, I'm not sure I *liked* any of the rules at first. lol But, I've come to see the benefit of them, even if I still don't really *like* them, if you know what I mean. ;)

    1. yes i definitely do! :)
      Well, it's not a completely regular schedule, you never know when a fire call will come through. but it works for us. We'll tweak and change when it needs it :)

  6. It sounds like you guys have a routine that is working well for you. That's great! I'm always the one that wants to go to bed earlier so i can't relate with the bedtime. Anything that puts the 2 of you together more is always a good thing though.


    1. i do generally go to bed earlier than he does, but it was later than this and I would be SO tired the next day!
      very true!
      thanks Lucy!

  7. Trying to wrap my head around this maintenance thing. I think I need it. I think WE need it. Just not sure how it will fit into our big picture but it seems to fill a void.

    Hugs to you,


  8. Hi Elle, wow, we aren't that big on maintenance here, it doesn't happen that regularly. Only when he feels either I, he or both of us need it. For us it's about reaffirming our roles and staying connected. Not sure how I would feel about every other day lol

    As for the bedtime. Yes, well, I have a little story on that which I will post about. He just introduced a rule around it today.

    I'm a total night owl and also struggle with insomnia so it's a tough one. I don't have a bedtime as such, but he almost always has to tell me to go to bed every night. Nights he is away, he will ring or txt to tell me it's bedtime. I always feel mixed when that text arrives.

    Like Grace, I'm not sure I liked most rules at the beginning, but do see the benefits of them. It can be hard too getting used to a new rule and not slipping up on it.


    1. that is very true. he has asked me to read a book about money and saving, etc.. very beneficial for us.. but I cannot remember to do it!! I'm glad he doesn't introduce new rules all the time. I'd never be able to keep up :)

      I don't know why, but I feel much better with maintenance. Maybe one day that will change, but it works for now :)
      thanks Roz!!

  9. Elle, I did not want to leave a comment on your new post. But, just a little note to say thanks for stopping by my blog page today. I hope you won't panic as mentioned in your new post and I hope you and your husband get to have some great connection time over the weekend. Take care,