Uneventful..

First, let me just say I love ttwd. Love love love it. I just defer big (and small!) decisions over to fireman and my life is easier. I wonder if his life is harder with more decisions though? Probably not. He's kind of think about it, make a decision, evaluate, then done with it, kind of guy. I'm like a think about it, obsess over it, obsess more, weigh options, compare, obsess, decide, regret, wonder about the other options, drive myself crazy, kind of person. I always worry I made the wrong decision. 

Even if it was something as silly as where we were going for dinner. I'd worry about the wait, how the waiter was, food, etc. I can hear you now. Wow, she is craaaaazy. Lol, it's true. 

No, I'm just worried about how my decision effects everyone else. What if we have a bad experience and it was my decision that sent us there? It's safe to say I seriously over think everything. 

I don't even know how I went to all that just now, lol. I was just going to post about how we had a super busy weekend and didn't get anything done around the house, or get to any spanking: maintenance or otherwise. It's strange how blogging will do that to you.. :) 




Friday I was down for the count all day.  I was never actually like sick, just felt really bad and exhausted.  Fireman took great care of me.  He's he best.  My ailments have made me feel like a 90 year old woman who is falling apart.  First it was Monday with the weird underarm pain, turned out to be just a pulled muscle.  Then a lower back issue that began after #3 was born that reoccurs often.  Then crazy sick-sleep-all-day Friday.  On top of a headache that has come and gone for almost 3 weeks now.  (That one is because of my eyes.  I need to call and schedule an appointment to get my reading glasses adjusted and fixed!!).  

See, who knew 29=90??? lol :)  

So anyway.. Take all that craziness, plus our beautiful (yes, super biased, but uh, it's also true! Lol) girls were models in a fashion show this weekend. They had practice, then the long day of the show, celebration dinner (where Fireman chose, lol) and I was exhausted by the end of the weekend. 

My house needs a lot of TLC, I feel like the laundry is everywhere. Mondays are not my favorite with Fireman being gone all day for work, then all evening for training, but I'm going to try to get some stuff done before one of the thousand ailments start creeping up. 

Dd has not taken a break in this house, but I haven't had a chance to get in gotten in trouble or be warned about anything. I haven't had maintenance since last Wednesday(!!!) Here. 

I just sent him a text. *is your palm twitchy?* 

*Lol. Little bit.*

I figured ;) 

Hope everyone has a great Monday :) 
Xo! 
Elle 

Maintenance and Bedtimes...

I feel like I haven't seen my fireman in forever. Monday was sickness, Tuesday he had a fire-related meeting, then last night was an activity for our girls, a quick break, then an exercise class for me. I want need a Saturday! 

I have a new bedtime rule. He wants me to wake up with him in the morning and try to get on a better schedule. It was mostly my fault that #1's morning was rushed and hectic. I wasn't getting her up early enough, not giving the two of us enough time to get ready for her to make the bus. I do not like arguing in the morning before she leaves (or arguing at all, really). 

It's not that much earlier for me to get up, maybe an hour, but it makes the difference in seeing him and that was enough of a reason for me. I was staying up later than I needed to before, but now it's much better. 

Except last night. We finally got the kids in bed around 8:45, my class was from 7-8, so by the time I got home I didn't have a lot of time. He pushed bedtime back to 10, we watched a little tv from Monday (thank God for DVR!), and got a shower together. It was after 10, but he let it slide. I am not sure what time I actually fell asleep, I'm sure it was before 11. I had asked if I could watch a little tv and he knows I hate not having the tv on when I go to bed!! 

Now, this morning I woke up late, only enough time for a long hug. I'm so tired right now... And I'm sad that I didn't get to see him more this morning. I texted him: I'm so tired. I'm sorry baby. 9:30 back in action. Lol. Lol okay man. 9:30 it is. 

Do you guys have any rules you thought you'd not like at first, but now appreciate?? 
On a positive note, I haven't been in trouble since last Wednesday!!! Whoo! I should get a party or something! (Speaking of... My birthday is coming up! Lol)

I really think maintenance has helped a lot with that. He has not done daily, I think he thinks it might get mundane if he would do it every single day. I don't know, he'll have to give his opinion on that. It has been happening just about every other night. 

Let me think..... Punishment Wednesday, maintenance Thursday (which he could've said was just the second part of Wednesday's punishment.. I deserved it), Saturday, but I can't remember Sunday! I think maybe, oops. I don't know for sure!! Tuesday was maintenance also, but none last night. 

Once it was funny. I tried to keep my pants. No. Then panties. No. (But i swear, I do that every time...) I laid across our bed and presented my bottom to him. He was quiet, I'm not entirely sure what he was doing if he was just making me be patient and wait, if he was checking out my behind. I couldn't take the silence and I knew the smack was coming, but I needed to say something! anything! Wait a minute, what's this for? Did you get a lecture? No. Okay, then if you don't get a lecture, it's just maintenance. Okay, got it. Works for me! *smack* pause... What's our procedure? Our procedure? Yes, what are you supposed to do? Counting, my brain thought. Oh, um one... 

Tuesday, he surprised me. I was not expecting maintenance. I had gotten everything ready for the next morning with his help, too. It was just before 9:20 and I was checking my phone before I went to our room. I walked in, he was standing by the bed with his favorite only? Implements on the end of the bed. 

I guess I'll have to see for tonight. I kind of like the every-other-daily maintenance. It makes me feel super connected and roles are definitely reaffirmed. 

I am loving our renewed life with ttwd. I don't think we've ever felt so close or together in anything. :)


Xo! 
Elle 

Behaving :)

I wonder if I'll end up jinxing myself with this one? I guess we will see. :) 

First, a big congratulations on surviving the end of the world with me, lol. Except, according to some the time hasn't come yet. To others, the time that it was supposed to happen has already passed. I guess we will see. My thought is.. Leap year. If it were really the end, they didn't account for leap year. Shouldn't we all have gone up in flames a while ago? Oh well. Not important. 

I realized something great this morning when I woke up.  I haven't been in trouble since Sunday! I was actually thinking it may have been longer, but nope, I checked.  Still though, that many days is good for me :) I usually start getting.. out of hand? I don't know what terminology to use, but I guess out of sorts. I think knowing he doesn't feel well and knowing there is impending maintenance helps.

On the maintenance front, my fireman hasn't been feeling very well =\  Our daily maintenance hasn't happened the way we thought it would at the beginning of the week. He has been so exhausted by the end of the day, plus feeling bad made it worse. But, I'm hoping for maintenance tonight. I feel like I need it. We are doing really good well though.  I feel like we've been getting along really well this week. He's going to be home in just a little bit, then he's home for the rest of the year!! Yayyy! I'm so excited to have my family here together. 

Being together with not much of a break will be interesting though. Since we've been doing ttwd, this will be our first big break together.  In the past, we have had big fights at Christmas. I remember slamming doors, going places alone, yelling, and being angry. At the end of whatever stupid argument we would have, I felt bad. Sometimes it would drag on. Then resurface with the next argument. Rarely was anything resolved. I'm so thankful for dd now. Everything is taken care of. No underlying issues. No taking two days of fighting or the silent treatment to get to what's actually wrong. 

I get a little stressed out bouncing around from house to house, visiting family. Last year wasn't bad, but we had a brand new baby. I was still coping with issues from having surgery and a messed up epi that I'm still dealing with issues from. My fireman was wonderful though. He helped me so much. We could have began ttwd then, our relationship was (is!!) strong.

Being around some people makes me very uneasy though.  Especially some of his family, but I'm hoping those reminder sessions we incorporate will make a big difference.

.... so I wrote all of that earlier, before he got home.  Then.. an incident.  I knew writing a post on being good would be jinxing.  It just had to do with the kids and him and I felt like he wasn't here. 

I kind of melted down on him. At the time, I was just mad, hurt, super angry and now I feel badly about it. I really do. He hasn't said anything about punishment, but the kids are all running wild. He will definitely let me know by the end of today. I love that. Even though I won't love getting in trouble.. Or that blasted counting, but I will love that tomorrow it won't matter. It will be over, done, and taken care of. 

Found this and thought it suited DDers pretty well :) 










Have a great before-Christmas weekend! 

Xo! 
~Elle 

Routine

It's funny. We haven't been doing ttwd very long, but like I posted yesterday morning, it's in my brain. It is in my routine. But still, sometimes life gets in the way. 

Strange how missing maintenance that I was actually looking forward to, effects me. I'm all blah today and I think I really needed that reset last night, but it didn't happen. 

We had great communication yesterday. (Chalk another one up to domestic discipline!!) I love chatting off and on during the day, via text. It's easier to text still than face-to-face, but that's getting easier, too. 

We talked about how I didn't get punishment or maintenance all weekend. He said since my mess-up on Tuesday (We'll discuss this later..), I didn't deserve any punishment. My fireman did say that he had wanted to do maintenance, but then either talked himself out of it, or missed the opportunity.  We talked about how he has to needs to stop thinking about me as the old me. The one who would get mad at the drop of a hat or make conditions really bad for everyone here.

I asked him why he talked himself out of it and told him I'd love to live in his head for a day, lol. My fireman said I would hate it there and leave after 10 minutes. Nah. I'd just muscle through and use it as a learning experience, lol. I told him he had to start believing that he can do it. He said he has no problem administering punishment when I deserve it, but the doubt comes when he needs to do maintenance. 


So, then I got brave and asked him if he ever wanted to spank me. Just for fun. I have to admit, I asked because I want him to want to. I want him to feel like he can and I want him to have that power over me. I want him to take control whenever he wants, just because. 

I waited for the text reply and I didn't have to wait long. "Um. Actually, yes." Hm. I'm surprised. "Wtf. You're surprised?" He's the self-proclaimed vanilla! I was verrrry surprised. And turned on at the same time. 

It's an exciting time at this fire house! My maintenance didn't come through last night, but we've already talked about how he's making sure it happens tonight. 

I love how his self confidence is through the roof. I love that is because of me. He is amazing and deserves the self confidence! The way he is interacting with me is even better too. Once again, all thanks to domestic discipline.

I know things will only continue to improve around here. Did I mention its an exciting time around here?? 

Now.. How much longer till he gets home and I finally get my maintenance and/or spanking just because he wants to?? 

Xo!
~Elle :)

Birthdays & Being 'Good'

I'll start out with how I hate my computer.  HATE.  It's outdated and we hardly ever use it anymore.  It really needs replaced, it's missing keys from where both my girls have ripped keys off.. and it's out of memory.  And I already have the external hard-drive.  

It just magically deleted my post that I had about half written.  Stupid thing. 

Back to my original post, lol.... 

We celebrated the baby's birthday this weekend.  So sad for me.  He's just the best addition and surprise to our family.  I thought we were finished, as did my husband.  Actually, I thought we were finished with everything when we found out about him.  God knew we needed him.  And although my pregnancy was very rough, I'd do it all again to bring him into this world. 

My hubz was out of town on Thursday and the majority of Friday.  Wednesday night I was at a concert, so we didn't spend a great deal of time together Wednesday evening.  So, we all know what that means!!!!!! No getting in trouble here, lol. 

Now, I try to be "good."  Really, I do.  I just have 8 million thing going on at once, so I tend to forget some a lot of things....  Like, lights and the television being on, the candle thing being plugged in, the heater thing, lol.  It's just a lot to remember and when I'm shuffling 3 kids out the door, plus an extra when I'm babysitting (which is pretty much everyday), I forget. 

I don't usually get in trouble for any of the major things... I am known to be a bit of a pain and somewhat bratty, but it's really usually nothing major. :)  I am craving some attention though.. but I will remind myself that it's better to just ask for maintenance than to do something bad and get in real trouble ;) 

xo! ~elle